Venting Living in my country feels so dull and depressing

[Painless_end]

I wish I had gone abroad when I had the chance. My life is finished now.

I can't summon the willpower to do even basic stuff.

My own mental weakness made me stick to "safe" things because I was worried I wouldn't be able to live away from my parents and would feel homesick all the time. Plus I was worried that I would fail at the degree that I intended to pursue abroad. In which case, I feared I would lose my mental sanity.

Why did nature have to make my mind so flimsy ? What mistake did I commit to be like this ?

I certainly am not like this on purpose. It is something that I have little control over.

I wish I had gone. I wish I never existed.

 

[summers]

@Curious89 life can be that way in the US, and just about any other country too. Living in a big city is exciting - there is always something to do, someplace to go. People have money and nice things. But when you live far away from the city - there is nothing to do, no place to go. Parks suck. You are constantly planning to go to the city.

Would it be possible to move somewhere near to a more exciting place, but not so far you couldn't drive home on the weekends?

 

[Painless_end]

@Curious89 life can be that way in the US, and just about any other country too. Living in a big city is exciting - there is always something to do, someplace to go. People have money and nice things. But when you live far away from the city - there is nothing to do, no place to go. Parks suck. You are constantly planning to go to the city.

Would it be possible to move somewhere near to a more exciting place, but not so far you couldn't drive home on the weekends?

I am not in the US. I am in a third world country.

 

[Insomniac]

where would youbrather live? I hate big cities, I'd love to live on a beautiful island

for the mistakes you committed, I can relate somehow. I wish I had considered things better when I was younger.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

where would youbrather live? I hate big cities, I'd love to live on a beautiful island

for the mistakes you committed, I can relate somehow. I wish I had considered things better when I was younger.

Can relate to this, i live in a particularly overcrowded, dull, grey, polluted part of a big city.

Going outside for fresh air means breathing in petrol, pollution and cigarette smoke. The tall buildings block out the sun too.

I've always found European cities dull tbh.

I've always wanted to see the nature in South East Asia. Not gonna happen!

But I also think wherever we live, it ends up becoming dull because of mundane schedules, routine, and work.

 

[summers]

Can relate to this, i live in a particularly overcrowded, dull, grey, polluted part of a big city.

Going outside for fresh air means breathing in petrol, pollution and cigarette smoke. The tall buildings block out the sun too.

I've always found European cities dull tbh.

I've always wanted to see the nature in South East Asia. Not gonna happen!

But I also think wherever we live, it ends up becoming dull because of mundane schedules, routine, and work.

That's how cities are in the northern half of the us. New York, Chicago, Seattle, all dreary, overcrowded, cold, wet, old.

Southern cities are very different. Miami, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Phoenix, Los Angeles, San Diego - all bright, vibrant, warm, sunny, new.

Edit: I forgot to say, if a city doesn't have palm trees, it's not worth visiting or living there - it'll be to cold :)

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

That's how cities are in the northern half of the us. New York, Chicago, Seattle, all dreary, overcrowded, cold, wet, old.

Southern cities are very different. Miami, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Phoenix, Los Angeles, San Diego - all bright, vibrant, warm, sunny, new.

I would still prefer a less populated place of natural beauty tbh.

Also I have nothing in common with the kind of people that live in LA, Miami etc

 

[summers]

Also I have nothing in common with the kind of people that live in LA, Miami etc

That's stereotyping. I've met all kinds of people in the cities I've visited.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

That's stereotyping. I've met all kinds of people in the cities I've visited.

I know I was generalising.

I don't think the palm trees are doing much for these guys:

 

[summers]

I know I was generalising.

I don't think the palm trees are doing much for these guys:
View attachment 82165

He won't freeze to death. Same shit happens in Anchorage, Alaska, except they don't make it through the night sometimes.

Edit: I agree 100% the homeless situation is out of hand in the us. Big part of that is the absolutelt shit state of our mental health system.

 

[unworthy_]

OP, i feel you. I am feeling the same way too.
Im from third world country too as an Asian. All my life, i have been living in my hometown because i was worried of my family. As an Asian, we should look after your family. I was afraid of smtg might happened to them. My family has been quite unstable since I was a teen until recently. I am already in my is 30. Life for me is almost over. Part of me didnt regret looking after my family but part of me regret that I could do smtg more if I live abroad or away from my hometown.

When i discovered that my family has been a lot more stable and my bro has been more emotionally mature lately, i thought that maybe i could try to just visit the US. To visit US has been a dream of mine. But since I have a job with very low salary, i will be rejected right then and there for a visa to US. I even tried to borrow loan just to fulfill some of my dreams but my loan was rejected due to my salary too.
I have been thinking a lot this month particulary to do smtg out of comfort zone but all my dreams were shattered the moment my loan was rejected and that chance of getting a visa is close to 0%...

Right now i have ntg to live for..
I just feel that the god wants me to live and die in at my hometown. Caged for life doing the same thing over and over again..

 

[Judah]

I am not in the US. I am in a third world country.

Let me guess, Uruguay?
Most countries have their charm but others simply do not have any appeal, I have traveled a lot and I have seen how this selective system that is not made for most people leads to despair, I have seen a brutal number of homeless people , children begging in the street, and despair, the third world is difficult

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be dreadful living somewhere that you do not like. In my case, no matter where I lived, I would still want to die. I belong in the eternal nothingness. I'm sorry you are in this situation, it is painful when everything is hopeless. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.