Everyone is just the same, I really don't like generalising and I try my hardest not to do it as I believe seeing the uniqueness in things is important. But almost everyone really is the same. Almost no one can actually think for themselves. 99% of the people I've talked to have some repeated, propagandised opinions. It's like people don't listen to things, they only hear them.
I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of talking to literal brain dead living robots. Living in a society with free thinkers is a fucking pipe dream. Now I'm not putting myself on a pedestal at all. Almost no one is immune to propaganda, including myself. But at least I recognise that it's a problem.
If I were to live my life and not kill myself, I would most definitely live a very isolated life. Spending all of my time with my partner and working as a psychologist.
I feel the same way. It makes me lose hope and it's hard to keep connections. I try to tell people what's actually going on or why something is unjust, but they will say things like "that's just how it is". I think the worst that I've dealt with though is people who won't give basic respect, to me or others. Calling people slurs and what not type things, or people who don't want to 'choose sides' or are friends with everybody, who tend to be the same ones who let you down because they won't stand up for you when it's their friend. Those are especially the most dangerous because while they won't choose sides or may even be an 'ally', they are very suspectible to going down THAT path.
Especially as a trans person, oh god, it's a battle just trying to reason with people. You can't. There's been few that I've hopefully gotten to realize but it's hard and they have to have an open-mind and want to learn vs. justify their stance or what they did.
I don't know what to do about it but I'm trying to still make friends anyway and I know I won't be able to change the minds of everyone or be friends with everyone, but I am trying to be more picky for my sanity and safety. I have met a couple decent people, I just lost them because I didn't think critically enough at the time and valued toxic people in my life over them, some lost connections was justified but honestly I wish I stayed their friend just to have people who know what the fuck is up and people that actually give a shit about me and others, they were weird in a good way, had interests in things that are cool and actually want to talk about things that aren't just surface level.
But I also feel deeply about wanting to isolate and not deal with people, I do want some type of community or someone in my life though, I hate being lonely, other people actually give me life and feel like it's worth being here, I have to work on realizing not everyone is perfect. I don't know. I have a very 'we're all gonna die' mindset unfortunately so I wish I had those same people still if that's whats gonna happen, I don't know what's gonna happen, I don't know, I have no one safe in person to talk to these things about or who wants to do something about it.
It's hard not resenting people and feeling numb because of depression and constant re-traumatizing from something new every day but I know I still have empathy when I see the horrors going on abroad and injustices here and the urge to want to do something to help. I know it's not entirely their fault because of generational traumas and propaganda, I don't know how people get out of that mindset though. I try to watch documentaries, interviews and videos of ex-nazis, ex-homophobes, ex-whatevers that actually protest now and help, because I want to see if there's a way I can plant a seed that can get people out of that, a lot of it is consciousness and empathy, curiosity and questioning, being exposed to people different from them helps but they need to think about the other person. I wish they would just do it sooner, especially the ones with more privilege, they could help alot.
I hope people realize we aren't able to keep the same system that harms us, the animals, and earth. I hope things start changing because if not it's going to keep on going forever until the earth gets too extreme we can't even live in it anymore.
