Living as an undead

[Enga]

After of a couple of failed attempts I've lost the drive to try again, but I've never had any desire to live. So... what's next?... neither dead nor alive. What should I do? I feel completely lost.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

That's interesting way of putting it: "Living as an undead"

I feel this way all the time, my CTB is so far away (A few years), and yet all the while I try my hardest to pull back from society, so I feel like ghost, that doesn't actually exist, like the idea of me as a person, is more real than the physical reality of my conscious brain and physical body. My hermit life style has rendered me more a memory for the people I used to know, than that of someone they can actually interact with.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

I am forced to live for now, so l just go about life like a zombie. Though I am back in school, a welcome distraction. Its like I am just waiting for the day to come when I can leave. All I can do is wait

 

[Agon321]

I haven't attempted suicide yet, but I also live between life and death.
I don't think there is a golden solution to this problem.

The world is becoming more and more like a prison.

 

[Enga]

I haven't attempted suicide yet, but I also live between life and death.
I don't think there is a golden solution to this problem.

The world is becoming more and more like a prison.

Well, there's more war and death every day. It's kinda feels relieving that you can be sent to war any day. But I don't have enough motivation to volunteer. I don't care about their conflicts. I don' belong here. I just want to be out of here.

 

[Agon321]

Well, there's more war and death every day. It's kinda feels relieving that you can be sent to war any day. But I don't have enough motivation to volunteer. I don't care about their conflicts. I don' belong here. I just want to be out of here.

Well, if a war broke out in my country, I would commit suicide very quickly.
Or I would wait until I get a gun and shoot myself in the head.
War is not romantic and I don't want to suffer unnecessarily

Personally, I wouldn't risk and fight in any war, even as a volunteer.
Too much risk of great suffering.