Venting Literally cant get out of bed

[futurebuscatcher]

I have everything I need to kill myself and I can't do it.

I literally can't get out if bed. When I do I can't even set everything up even though it's arguably the easiest thing to do. It just so mentally exhausting

I always feel tired now no matter how much sleep I get. Eating disgusts me and I hate it.

I was hoping to clean the place before I kill myself and I can't even do that. I can't even organize some of the items I want to give away to certain people.

I was supposed to practice hanging myself and giving some feedback/share my experience and I literally can't do it.

One of my disabled friend has said that I have severe autistic burnout and chronic fatigue and I'm like how they were before they became disabled. (I have to get my degree though cause if this doesn't work out then what??? I'll be homeless) I can't take break at all. I can't unmask.

I'm just so upset I literally cant do anything. Not even prep to kill myself. What do I fucking do?? I'm so done.

 

[finishLana]

You are severely depressed and planning is mentally exhausting. The whole ctb deal is sad and difficult for our brains, so it avoids it as well. Im sorry you are feeling this way, I have similar feelings

 

[willow115]

I'm convinced our body and mind will do anything to survive before the walls close in. Your being is saying I need rest, not death. If you can rest up.