List your regrets in your 20s

[Vault of Memories]

Not offing myself when I became homeless at 20-21. Going through so much to get where I am now nearing 30 for it to have all been a waste.

Sorry you had to go through that. I can't even imagine how I would've handled homelessness, you're a lot stronger than you may think.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Sorry you had to go through that. I can't even imagine how I would've handled homelessness, you're a lot stronger than you may think.

Thanks pal but I'm not, and that's not 'putting myself down'. It's been a concoction of circumstances. False hope, things have temporarily improved, coping in isolation when I got a home. But most of all the reason I'm here is cowardice.

Regarding homelessness I only suffered sleeping rough a few months in total.
The worst was the hostels where there wasn't enough rooms so they had a room roughly 30x40 ft max with up to 50 other rough sleepers and alot were downright horrible smack heads who've got themselves into that situation and would Rob their own grandma. But some are extremely mentally ill... And the mentally ill tend to be the ones who permanently sleep on the street because they don't trust people or are frightened. That opened my eyes to the suffering in this shit world.
Best wishes mate

 

[Final Escape]

Can you imagine if I list the regrets from 30 - 59!

let's hear it

 

[xalltoowell]

I regret not finishing university. I regret not trying harder to make things work when I moved overseas to live with a boyfriend. I regret cheating on my last ex. I regret moving back home. I'm just stuck in the past constantly thinking how I would go back and change so many things.

 

[qwerty32]

Not so many regrets in my 20s since the mistakes I made were life lessons for me. I guess one main one is being a stubborn aloof person who didn't interact or socialize that much. I'm surprise I still talk to some of my college friends and thankful for that.

The greatest regret which I made in my early 30s is breaking up my first relationship. Wish I was still with them, but many lessons learned are don't make decisions when you're not yourself or when you're angry, try dating in high school to experience what's a relationship like even if it won't last.

 

[Alec]

I turned 23 this past February, honestly I have quite a lot of regrets, like REALLY a lot. But the main one is wasting time to pretend I'm ok and I'm happy to lie to myself that I'm happy and carefree that I don't feel pain. All the time wasted just lying to myself and trying so desperately to run away, from everything but mainly to run away from pain and loneliness. I regret spending my entire life trying to please people and pretending to be someone they want me to be, fuck them all, even though I was exactly whom they wanted me to be and was "perfectly normal" or at least pretended to be normal I was still never loved, they just pretended to care about me and "love" me when it was convenient to them and when it would be a bother to them they would just show me that they don't really care about me. And I know it sounds strange to ask people to truly love me when I'm faking to be somebody, but I'm only faking because they've made it clear they DEFINITELY won't love the real me, they basically demand me to be whom they want me to be to give me the tinies bit of care and attention and acceptance, but then after I spend so much hard work trying to be whom they want me to be they still don't care about me. I can't please people, they will never truly care or love, they don't give a damn - not really, and maybe it's not just for me like that, maybe we can't ever please people simply because people don't WANT to care, and we can't make them, I don't know but this is what it is for me and my life. And a part of me regrets not killing myself earlier. Though I still plan to.
Thank you for asking, it felt good sharing and I liked reading yours, made me feel a bit more connected and understood, I am sorry it's this way for you though But I hope otherwise you have a great day! And I love you, and I'm with you!

 

[Emilyismew]

I will be 23 in July. I regret my behaviors towards people. Being shy and not my true self. My fears and worries ruining relationships. I regret giving my love to so many men who didn't deserve it and was mean to the ones who did. I regret giving up on school. I regret gaining all that weight I lost. People tell me there will always be bad things. It's hard going numb. And when I do I ache to feel again. Woohoo to being 23.

 

[Partial-Elf]

This is literally what makes me want to fucking hang myself every fifteen minutes. Regrets:

Major:

• Leaving a certain relationship
• Picking the career I did
• Damaging my should by being an idiot
• Not staying in my college town longer
• Violating boundaries in my workplace

Minor:

• Abandoning a lot of decent women
• Doing badly in a particular interview
• Missing out on a few sexual opportunities
• Telling someone I bought a gun for purposes of suicide

So basically I don't have a good looking career, friends, or relationship prospects. I have violated boundaries in my workplace such that I just am hanging on by the skin of my teeth for a few months. I am trapped in my hometown. I don't feel like this represents who I am or what I want for myself. Pretty much the only joy I get from life are my hobbies (making beer, making bread, collecting wildflowers, drunkenly listening to music). I know that's more than many here, but it's till not enough for me to want to stick around.

 

[Genetics]

let's hear it

Ok, let me work on a list.

 

[FireFox]

I'm 27. Never had a girlfriend. Been stuck at university for 8 years and I'm about to quit.

Oh no why?
What is your course

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I guess if anything, I regret not standing up to my parents more. I'm the same age as you, so I haven't really experienced much of my 20s... But I don't really want to change anything in my life. My life sucks, but I deserve it. I'm the one at fault, so I feel like I have no right to complain.

My parents still treat me like an adolescent though, even though I'm pretty independent. They yell at me, call me names (bitch is most often used), and demand that I respect them more even though they're rude and emotionally immature. My dad hit me hard over the back of my head until I was 20 or 21.

If I changed anything, it would be to establish better boundaries with my parents. This behavior is unacceptable but I allowed it, so... I dunno. I can't afford to move out, so I'm kind of stuck here. Sorry for rambling. :|

 

[FireFox]

I regret finishing med school and being a doctor. I wish I was a pilot of an Boeing 737 Being a pilot was my dream in my life. But it didn't work. It's easy to say but try to follow your dreams. I love my wife but I regret getting married and changing my country too. Because I can't work as a doctor in this new country. There is still lots of things to do for this. Basically, I screwed up my life.

A medical doctor that is an amazing achievement you should be proud of your self. Well done!

What country are you living in and why cant you pratice?
I live in the UK come work in the NHS(sorry i am trying to make you feel better)

It is not easy living in a foregin country. It is bloody difficult and it makes me so angry how people give immigrants a hard time .

My mother is an immigrant she came to the UK in the 1980s. She worked a lot a jobs while studying at college. She has now works in the public sector.

Sorry you feel that way. Hug for you

I regret enlisting in the Navy (I was 18 but was in until I was 20) because I was gang raped and nothing happened to the men.
I regret letting alcohol and drugs self-medicate me until I was 30. I lost so much valuable time with my daughter who was born when I was 26.
I regret my 1st two marriages.
I regret allowing people to physically and sexually abuse me.
I regret that my suicide attempt(cutting wrists) had been successful when I was in the Navy.
My entire 20's were a nightmare even if I don't remember most of it.

I'm 59, to be 60 in September.
I plan to ctb in 2031.
I don't want to regret seeing my grandsons become men. Then I'll be ready to cbt.

I am so sorry you have been through so much in your long life. You deserve so much better

Remember none of this is your fault . Your body belongs to you and no one can interfere with it.

Rapists can burn in hell. Rape is one of the worst crimes a human being can commit.

Why dont you want to regret your grandsons becoming men.

I want to give you and a hug
Please take care ok

You don't see it because you're too young (yes, I know that you don't want to hear this, but it's the truth). You say you'd prefer to go to college past 25. That doesn't make sense. You say that you prefer shitty jobs, that doesn't make sense. There're people who say they want to CTB because they dropped college. I think that you want to CTB because, for some reason, you like CTB. You're an adult, do what you want, but I advise you to seek profesional help. It's my humble opinion.

I wish i went to univeristy when i was 25+ because i would be more ready for graduation and the work place due to the maturity . I feel so immature

I like feeling needed it makes me have a purpose and feel like i am wanted. I only want a job in a supermarket because i can feel needed and something to do since i feel so lost.
I feel like there is nothing for me since graduating

One of my biggest regrets is not going to university straight after my A levels. I didn't go to uni until I was 27. I feel my life could have been totally different and that I missed out on so much. It hindered my social development, my independence, my employment opportunities etc. It's crazy how subjective our thoughts are and how much we're controlled by them. To be honest it probably doesn't matter what I've done in the past or what I'll do in the future as I'll regret it all regardless, and convince myself if only I'd made a different choice my life could have been so much better.

Interesting what did you study?
Why has it hindered your job prospects?
I always thought it is better to go later on in life because i feel like i would cope better graduating later on life as i will be aware there is a life after university .
I feel like sometimes i graduated later i would be work palce ready and just be so mature

Same!

University was expensive , I had to work to pay for it , studying dual BSc is hard , and I broke down -- while finishing the degree had been useless anyway (many fields require MSc). Really annoys me because 20 years ago BSc was more than enough while tuition & accommodation were dead cheap . I wish I had just worked at a simple job , saved money , and built my life -- instead of engaging in this higher education mess.

2. Meeting my abusive ex.. Took 10 years of my life , 3 mental breakdowns , and ended up totally shattered . Wasted the best years of my life .

What did you study?

I am desperate for a relationship because i feel like having a boyfriend will improve my low self esteem and give me something to live for.
A relationship will make me feel less lonely

My only true regret of my 20s has been wasting 2 years of my life on a man I would have moved mountains for only to realise that he systematically broke me down to the point where I changed who I was and alienated my friends and family to make him happy. It's bizarre to me now that I once considered (and acted out on my plan) to end my life over it. If I could change anything it would be to have never met him at all.

I have never been in a relationship and worry a lot about being single..
I want a boyfriend so badly so i can stop feeling bad about myself. I feel like my life is not interesting enough and relationship will make my life more interesting

 

[Bpdhasruinedme]

I regret not going to the doctor then. I was embarrassed and angry. Maybe my bpd would have been diagnosed and I would have got help sooner, before I had a breakdown, before it got so bad. Maybe I could have been a better person.

 

[FireFox]

Can you imagine if I list the regrets from 30 - 59!

That will be a very big list. You could even write a book with that

I turned 23 this past February, honestly I have quite a lot of regrets, like REALLY a lot. But the main one is wasting time to pretend I'm ok and I'm happy to lie to myself that I'm happy and carefree that I don't feel pain. All the time wasted just lying to myself and trying so desperately to run away, from everything but mainly to run away from pain and loneliness. I regret spending my entire life trying to please people and pretending to be someone they want me to be, fuck them all, even though I was exactly whom they wanted me to be and was "perfectly normal" or at least pretended to be normal I was still never loved, they just pretended to care about me and "love" me when it was convenient to them and when it would be a bother to them they would just show me that they don't really care about me. And I know it sounds strange to ask people to truly love me when I'm faking to be somebody, but I'm only faking because they've made it clear they DEFINITELY won't love the real me, they basically demand me to be whom they want me to be to give me the tinies bit of care and attention and acceptance, but then after I spend so much hard work trying to be whom they want me to be they still don't care about me. I can't please people, they will never truly care or love, they don't give a damn - not really, and maybe it's not just for me like that, maybe we can't ever please people simply because people don't WANT to care, and we can't make them, I don't know but this is what it is for me and my life. And a part of me regrets not killing myself earlier. Though I still plan to.
Thank you for asking, it felt good sharing and I liked reading yours, made me feel a bit more connected and understood, I am sorry it's this way for you though❤❤ But I hope otherwise you have a great day! And I love you, and I'm with you!❤

Reading your reply is quite comforting as well.
I love you too and i am with you as well

 

[Muirthemne]

I guess my biggest regret is being in denial and waiting so long to get help for my mental health issues. I finally got serious about it a few years ago, but by then it was much too late. I'll be thirty in a few months, and I have no money, no education, never been on a date, never had a real job. I wasted my whole youth. I'm so far behind everyone else in life I'll never catch up.

 

[FireFox]

I regret not going to the doctor then. I was embarrassed and angry. Maybe my bpd would have been diagnosed and I would have got help sooner, before I had a breakdown, before it got so bad. Maybe I could have been a better person.

BPD is an awful MH illness and it can years for a diagnois as it the illness sometimes overlaps with other mental illbess making it harder for drs to dignose.

Rememeber it is not your fault you are ill . You are not evil . You are ill. Mental illness make us do and think things we would never do . It like an evil twin

You cant get back those years of your life but you can create a beautiful future.(sorry if it doesnt help)

Maybe you still can be a doctor. If your condition is under control and you good at science , find a pathway why not?(sorry if this unhelpful)
There is a woman called dr Alice flaherty . She is a doctor has bipolar disorder she an interview with times magazine years ago.

I used to regret not studying to be a nurse but then i realised i only liked nursing for the job secruity.

I will be 23 in July. I regret my behaviors towards people. Being shy and not my true self. My fears and worries ruining relationships. I regret giving my love to so many men who didn't deserve it and was mean to the ones who did. I regret giving up on school. I regret gaining all that weight I lost. People tell me there will always be bad things. It's hard going numb. And when I do I ache to feel again. Woohoo to being 23.

When is your birthday? I will wish you a happy birthday.
As for school you can always go back.
I get upset when men reject me or dont recopricate my love for them

 

[x-Ace-x]

Zero regrets

 

[JSRF]

-Not realizing my own potential and choosing the wrong career path because it just happened to be the easy option
-Wasting countless hours on irrelevant bullshit
-Not buying Bitcoin when I learned about it in 2010

 

[Blackpoolbootz]

I turn 23 in May and i have so many regrets in life and feel like i cant change my life. My sucidial thoughts have increased as my birthday nears. If wasnt for this lockdown shit i was going to kill myself.
My regets

1) Regret going to university after my A levels. I wish i went to university later on life like in 25+ . After spending a lifetime in education i cant cope anymore with loss of structure , lack of purpose and loss indentity.
I sometimes wish i left school and just worked. Everyday i regret it so much
Sometimes i am jealous of people who have no qualfications because they start again and have somewhere to start from . They find it easier to find jobs. I am jealous of my friend who has no gcses and has a job as support worker in a care home.


2) I regret turning down a job i was offered in this church set up by this woman all because i was scared of messing up and being needy
I feel like now i never ever have a job offer .
Everyday i regret it


I hate my life .
What your regret in your 20s?

I spent a few years in education then unemployed for 4 years then in care and a support worker. The pay is minimal but nothing to stop you going into the sector at any time as they always always looking for staff. I left collage cause I couldn't cope had troubles at the time, couldn't do what I wanted to study, ended up on a miss wash degree that I hated. We have one or 2 people that do the odd shift that are at at university and look after adults with learning disabilities. In the UK so many unfilled vacancies for care as the pay is usually quite poor.
Regrets I got enough to fill a war and peace book. Lucky meds keep me thinking about them to a certain degree unless I'm triggered.

1) not choosing sticking at an education
2) moving to wrong area away from family friend
3) losing loads of money though property being ripped off.
4) wasting my life with depression and not making a go if things. Always taking the comfortable way out.

 

[AcornUnderground]

I loved my 20's. I worked my ass off as a teenager, worked full time even in high school, also in college, paid my way through. In my 20's I worked and played hard, had a fantastic job, had great relationships and experiences. I was the picture of health in a lot of ways -marathons, triathalons, biking, cooked and are the best food- five star restaurants paid for by work all the time (sales) - I was good looking and did whatever and got whatever I wanted, even if it meant working hard for it. I had my bumps: a cancelled engagement, dating a few of the wrong guys, drinking too much. My regret is a few bad habits - drinking and a relatively short bulimic episode - all point to OCD and mental issues - and marrying my ex at 29 - he was a nightmare on wheels and between my bad habitS and working a very challenging job and having kids while my ex abused the hell out of me - probably led to the development of my autoimmune disease , which is ultimately killing me. There is no surviving this. Looking back in pictures, my health declined in my early 30's. I can't help but think that I could have avoided this ultimate tragedy by calming down in my 20's, practicing some self care and not marrying an asshole. I continued to drink too much all through my 30's, really 25 years of pretty heavy drinking - thinking that I'd clean up my act "soon", always. I was never a drunk or showed exterior signs of a drinking problem but 4 drinks a day, every day since you were in high school/college is a problem. It wore me down. I come from a long line of robust Irish drinkers and thought - I am fine!! I am 41 now. My combination of carelessness destroyed my life in spite of building quite a bit of success and a wonderful life all around me. I can see it happening in pictures, which is driving me mad. I believe it was avoidable. I miss my life and would give anything to tweak a few things and likely have an entirely different outcome. The disease that ensued aged me in a few short years like I've done hard drugs for a decade. I can't turn it around and make it go away. I was at the top of my game and carelessly lost it all without even a thought about it .

 

[frostedreef]

Dropping out of college.

 

[Secrets1]

1. Havd firmer boundaries to distance myself from toxic influences especially within family

2. Manage my $ responsibly with legitimate thought to the future

3. Don't take all the meds I was prescribed to or see the p.o.s. doc I trusted

Other than that most experiences were necessary setbacks, resets and growth. Coming into my 20s I was part immature prick with deep problems under the surface, part zestful optimist who wasn't yet so jaded. During them I lived extravagantly and fell spectacularly.

 

[Ipassbutter]

I regret committing a crime in my 30s. Ill never forgive myself and constantly feel like I should kill myself.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Hard to say, since I am truly hopeless when it comes to my future. I am convinced a persons character never changes, so what could I possibly have done differently? Nothing. Everything happens with necessity. If you could rewind the clock perfectly, everything would happen over again, just as it did the first time over. And if I could carry my knowledge from now back with me, who knows whether my future wouldn't have looked worse?

To give an example, I worked for a short while for a really shady dude and got burned in the process—it took a bad end. But, had that not happened, I would not have gotten that job I had afterwards for two years where I basically was paid to do nothing; I could read, write, lay in the sun, sit in a cafe and was paid for it. Now why should I regret having trusted the shady sociopath dude? I learned something very important about human nature and as a result of that job going to shit I got an awesome job. And if I hadn't gotten that awesome job, I wouldn't have had time to educate myself as much as I did.

I think it's all bullshit. Life is so unpredictable—you never know what bullet you doged by fucking your life up, or what the consequences of the actions you regret will be long term. You lose your wallet and by going back and looking for it you escape a timeline where you would've been run over by a truck.
.
So: you are still alive, which means you have been pretty successful so far. You have to realize that there is no grand goal everyone is heading towards. There is no better future. It's just keeping it together as long as you can, before, eventually, you lose everything, get frail, sick and die.

And it won't be any easier letting go and accepting it at 85 than at 25. Maybe, if you die at an older age, the pain of losing it all is more spread out, but it's still painful. No one happily loses everything they were invested in.

 

[sadbunny]

TLDR but I regret not going to college earlier. I'm 29 and barely thinking about a career

 

[FireFox]

I regret committing a crime in my 30s. Ill never forgive myself and constantly feel like I should kill myself.

What did you do ?
If dont mind me asking

TLDR but I regret not going to college earlier. I'm 29 and barely thinking about a career

You can go at college at any age.
What did you after high school

 

[Steve Vermont]

Funny. I regret dropping out of university in my 20s and only going back in my thirties. I have loads more life experience, but career-wise, I am now fifty three and in a position that one would normally find a person in their late 30s.

 

[The Dark Chaos]

My biggest regret is living the life that others wanted me to live instead of the one I wanted to.

 

[mediocre]

1) Not taking care of my health by eating right and exercising regularly. This has caused a severe b12 deficiency that has wrecked my body and caused permanent nerve damage.
2) Being too afraid to take chances that were provided to me and wasting most of my life doing nothing but existing.
3) not having ctb'd around 20 when things were becoming just too much and dragging my life on for another 7 miserable years.

 

[FireFox]

My biggest regret is living the life that others wanted me to live instead of the one I wanted to.

What was the life you wanted live?

Funny. I regret dropping out of university in my 20s and only going back in my thirties. I have loads more life experience, but career-wise, I am now fifty three and in a position that one would normally find a person in their late 30s.

Interesting i keep beating myself up over not going late. I used think if my life would be better if i went later on life.

What degree and job do you have?