Life without love is so tiring

[RoadToGehenna]

What the title says. I do have other interests/projects and a work that's decent but they fall short in comparison. I just want to sleep all the time. Everything seems to flicker when there's no one waiting home or texting me about their day. I'm in my mid-to-late 20s and I've always felt like I'm too late to where I'm supposed to be. I wish I never got with my ex. I let myself discover what selfless and patient love is. I always knew that I had so much love and affect to give inside of me. I can't go back to alienation and meaninglessness. I might even hate myself but I feel whole when I make that special person happy, when I see my woman smile, when we kiss, when I make her have goosebumps...

Maybe I'm too weak or inmature. But I don't care about anything else. The only way to renew my purpose in life is being able to fully give myself to someone that desires the same, something pure with infinite patience and depth to it. Otherwise, I feel like my willingness to keep going is being constantly drained until there's nothing left to hold on to. I'm so tired... and getting isolated, which makes it even more difficult. They say that men without nothing to lose are the most dangerous and driven. But that's totally false. When you are left alone, with nothing to protect or care for, is when you are most prepared to give up. And I'm just too tired to keep going alone

 

[redkitsune98]

What the title says. I do have other interests/projects and a work that's decent but they fall short in comparison. I just want to sleep all the time. Everything seems to flicker when there's no one waiting home or texting me about their day. I'm in my mid-to-late 20s and I've always felt like I'm too late to where I'm supposed to be. I wish I never got with my ex. I let myself discover what selfless and patient love is. I always knew that I had so much love and affect to give inside of me. I can't go back to alienation and meaninglessness. I might even hate myself but I feel whole when I make that special person happy, when I see my woman smile, when we kiss, when I make her have goosebumps...

Maybe I'm too weak or inmature. But I don't care about anything else. The only way to renew my purpose in life is being able to fully give myself to someone that desires the same, something pure with infinite patience and depth to it. Otherwise, I feel like my willingness to keep going is being constantly drained until there's nothing left to hold on to. I'm so tired... and getting isolated, which makes it even more difficult. They say that men without nothing to lose are the most dangerous and driven. But that's totally false. When you are left alone, with nothing to protect or care for, is when you are most prepared to give up. And I'm just too tired to keep going alone

I am exactly the same way as you do. To see someone smile just because you called their hair pretty, to see someone interested in hearing about a bird you saw on the street, to make plans using "our" future home, "our" future family... I lost that, and that broke me down to pieces in a way that will never be fixed

 

[RoadToGehenna]

I am exactly the same way as you do. To see someone smile just because you called their hair pretty, to see someone interested in hearing about a bird you saw on the street, to make plans using "our" future home, "our" future family... I lost that, and that broke me down to pieces in a way that will never be fixed

Stay strong brother. I guess there is time left but no one really cares

 

[s.s.scriptties]

I kinda want to have a partner that I can actually say corny shit to with a straight face, cuddle, comfort and hug... not as interested in sex jus some affection is fine... But I know thas not happening.