Venting Life just keeps fucking me dry

[leavingthesoultrap]

I am so tired of this fucking circus.
The only relief I have is that I have my method ready. Finally got antiemetics yay.
And if I choose to stay for some time longer and my SN expires....Nobody can take a rope away from me. There will always be a method available

 

[Abyssal]

I've found the knowledge that I am able to take my own life to be very comforting from a young age, more so now that I'm suffering so badly. Strangely enough, it's giving me reason to live for the idea that I am able to ctb at any time pushes me to keep going and be less afraid.