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chrisbate7

chrisbate7

Student
Sep 30, 2020
191
One of my biggest drivers to CTB is just how god damn boring life is. 15 waking hours is so hard to fill. 8 of those is at work. But work is boring AF too.
I have literally zero interest or hobbies because of high anxiety and soul crushing depression. I can't read or watch movies anymore because I'm so fucking restless. I walk 20k steps a day just to fill the time. All I want to do is fuck, eat, sleep and take walks. It doesn't help that I feel like life is essentially pointless.
 
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SmellyRat

SmellyRat

Arcanist
Nov 5, 2018
479
Get an alcohol problem then :wink:
Just kidding, but alcohol for me makes life more interesting
giphy.gif
 
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chrisbate7

chrisbate7

Student
Sep 30, 2020
191
Get an alcohol problem then :wink:
Just kidding, but alcohol for me makes life more interesting
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I would but alcohol only makes anxiety worse.....unless you're always buzzed or drunk that is
 
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walktothewater

Member
Nov 7, 2020
64
Speaking as a recovering alcoholic, while I wouldn't recommend my path, alcohol does have some benefits, one being that it makes the time pass much quicker. If you take alcohol abuse to the level I took it, literally years can pass in the space of the blink of an eye (I exaggerate, but not much.)
One of my biggest drivers to CTB is just how god damn boring life is. 15 waking hours is so hard to fill. 8 of those is at work. But work is boring AF too.
I have literally zero interest or hobbies because of high anxiety and soul crushing depression. I can't read or watch movies anymore because I'm so fucking restless. I walk 20k steps a day just to fill the time. All I want to do is fuck, eat, sleep and take walks. It doesn't help that I feel like life is essentially pointless.

20k steps a day is more than me, and I am reasonably physically active. So walking is a hobby of sorts, no? I don't see anything wrong with a life composed of fucking, eating, sleeping and walking, leaving aside the depression, which obviously is an issue for you.
 
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chrisbate7

chrisbate7

Student
Sep 30, 2020
191
Speaking as a recovering alcoholic, while I wouldn't recommend my path, alcohol does have some benefits, one being that it makes the time pass much quicker. If you take alcohol abuse to the level I took it, literally years can pass in the space of the blink of an eye (I exaggerate, but not much.)


20k steps a day is more than me, and I am reasonably physically active. So walking is a hobby of sorts, no? I don't see anything wrong with a life composed of fucking, eating, sleeping and walking, leaving aside the depression, which obviously is an issue for you.
If I knew I was for sure going to throw in the towel and bail on my recovery strategy I for sure would hit up alcohol hard. But I've been off alcohol for 11 months, it was my goal this year to abstain from alcohol so just have to make it through November and December. Might start drinking lightly on the weekends again in 2021 if I'm still alive
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
Get a dog and spend your day walking, grooming, and training? I wish life was boring once in a while. Kids keep me busy non stop. I'm tired.
 
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walktothewater

Member
Nov 7, 2020
64
If I knew I was for sure going to throw in the towel and bail on my recovery strategy I for sure would hit up alcohol hard. But I've been off alcohol for 11 months, it was my goal this year to abstain from alcohol so just have to make it through November and December. Might start drinking lightly on the weekends again in 2021 if I'm still alive

You seem quite functional compared to many here, including me. I am suicidal because my family are c****s and refuse to forgive me for developing a disease. Have you gotten treatment for the depression?
 
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chrisbate7

chrisbate7

Student
Sep 30, 2020
191
You seem quite functional compared to many here, including me. I am suicidal because my family are c****s and refuse to forgive me for developing a disease. Have you gotten treatment for the depression?
I guess I'm functional. I wake up at 5 AM without an alarm and go to bed at 9 PM on the dot. I'm not using any drugs. I have a good marriage and a good job. I just struggle with insanely high anxiety and ridiculous intrusive thoughts that drive me insane. I worry about losing control and become violent. I do talk therapy twice per week for the depression. Not working though. I refuse to take any psych drugs though. Been there done that
 
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walktothewater

Member
Nov 7, 2020
64
I guess I'm functional. I wake up at 5 AM without an alarm and go to bed at 9 PM on the dot. I'm not using any drugs. I have a good marriage and a good job. I just struggle with insanely high anxiety and ridiculous intrusive thoughts that drive me insane. I worry about losing control and become violent. I do talk therapy twice per week for the depression. Not working though. I refuse to take any psych drugs though. Been there done that

This is off the top of my head, but given that you mention worrying about losing control and becoming violent, I sometimes wonder if men are put into roles in modern society which don't really suit our fundamental needs, including working off aggression. Have you tried boxing or physical sports for example?
 
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SmellyRat

SmellyRat

Arcanist
Nov 5, 2018
479
Get a dog and spend your day walking, grooming, and training? I wish life was boring once in a while. Kids keep me busy non stop. I'm tired.

True doggo is the best friendoo.

If I knew I was for sure going to throw in the towel and bail on my recovery strategy I for sure would hit up alcohol hard. But I've been off alcohol for 11 months, it was my goal this year to abstain from alcohol so just have to make it through November and December. Might start drinking lightly on the weekends again in 2021 if I'm still alive

Drink heavily and enjoy life while you are here.
giphy.gif
 
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Conker

Conker

Specialist
Oct 22, 2019
351
Being sober all the time definitely sucks, getting into drugs is gonna be one of the best choices I ever made. Although obviously the number 1 spot goes to dematerializing my consciousness.

Alcohol is also very boring IMO besides wine, a few rums and sake. I don't care for it all and the feeling of going into a blackout coma while under its influence is actually extremely unpleasant.
 
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reticen

reticen

Student
Nov 5, 2020
170
Yeah.. I can just sit at my desk all day doing nothing. I have lost interest in all things. I yearn to be interested in something... even a new series to keep me distracted a few hours a day.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,399
Yeah.. I can just sit at my desk all day doing nothing. I have lost interest in all things. I yearn to be interested in something... even a new series to keep me distracted a few hours a day.
I can relate. I zone out a lot and struggle with being interested in anything really.
 
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chrisbate7

chrisbate7

Student
Sep 30, 2020
191
Yeah.. I can just sit at my desk all day doing nothing. I have lost interest in all things. I yearn to be interested in something... even a new series to keep me distracted a few hours a day.
It's so awful. It's like you don't care about anything in the world. I would just so badly love to care about something again
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
I had this lifestyle before. I didn't have a job or kids, and was constantly lonely. I started gaming. If you haven't got into PC gaming I would highly recommend that. With the elder scrolls series, fallouts, gta, WoW, sims, and a bunch of less known games I have about 20k hours of game time (not including years of WoW). Its fun how Steam tells me how many hours of my life I wasted lol.... but yeah it's great for passing time, and puts you in a new world.
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,868
I had this lifestyle before. I didn't have a job or kids, and was constantly lonely. I started gaming. If you haven't got into PC gaming I would highly recommend that. With the elder scrolls series, fallouts, gta, WoW, sims, and a bunch of less known games I have about 20k hours of game time (not including years of WoW). Its fun how Steam tells me how many hours of my life I wasted lol.... but yeah it's great for passing time, and puts you in a new world.
That was pretty much the way I dealt with getting bullied every day in my childhood. Playing computer games and watching anime all day and escaping reality.
 
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demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,383
I had this lifestyle before. I didn't have a job or kids, and was constantly lonely. I started gaming. If you haven't got into PC gaming I would highly recommend that. With the elder scrolls series, fallouts, gta, WoW, sims, and a bunch of less known games I have about 20k hours of game time (not including years of WoW). Its fun how Steam tells me how many hours of my life I wasted lol.... but yeah it's great for passing time, and puts you in a new world.
That was pretty much the way I dealt with getting bullied every day in my childhood. Playing computer games and watching anime all day and escaping reality.

Gaming is all I can do right now, I don't have the will to watch anything though I love anime.. it does help you escape reality.
 
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ThrownAwayTom

ThrownAwayTom

Experienced
Oct 3, 2020
276
Yeah this is a massive part of it for me, especially at the moment. I wake up, log in, work 8 hours, log off, then sit and wait until a somewhat normal time to go to bed, then lay there and wait til I wake up and work. No TV show, movie, video game, hobby, album, podcast or otherwise has any appeal or staying power any more. Alcohol definitely makes it all easier, but when you've got no money it's just so fucking boring. I am living to be bored.
 
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X

xvc

Member
Oct 5, 2020
8
I feel the exact same.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
Is it a case of life being boring or of you not being able to enjoy what prevents one from boredom?
I don't have the luxury of indulging in the things that make life interesting, though I think it is possible for one to feel the monotony eventually, even if they do. So I'm wondering which you think you fall into?
 
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SmellyRat

SmellyRat

Arcanist
Nov 5, 2018
479
Is it a case of life being boring or of you not being able to enjoy what prevents one from boredom?
I don't have the luxury of indulging in the things that make life interesting, though I think it is possible for one to feel the monotony eventually, even if they do. So I'm wondering which you think you fall into?
I fall into escapism.
I know my life is completely shit, and pointless, but i don't mind either. aslong as i can numb the pain.
 
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R

ronigail9

Student
Oct 5, 2019
156
Get an alcohol problem then :wink:
Just kidding, but alcohol for me makes life more interesting
giphy.gif
How do you get over the dehydration? I immediately feel like crap with one drink!
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
How do you get over the dehydration? I immediately feel like crap with one drink!
Me too. I have literally zero alcohol tolerance. Even one drink will pretty much floor me, and I will have a raging hangover the next day. I don't know if it's that I have very little body weight or it's just the way my body happens to metabolize alcohol, but even drinking abundance of water with alcohol doesn't help at all. Yay marijuana!
 
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SmellyRat

SmellyRat

Arcanist
Nov 5, 2018
479
How do you get over the dehydration? I immediately feel like crap with one drink!
You mean hangovers? i just make sure to drink alot of water before i go to bed. Hangovers happen when your body steals water from your brain to help your liver process the alcohol. Also Alcoholism runs within my family so there is probably a genetic component to it...
 
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Aurora

Aurora

Member
Nov 1, 2020
72
Life is even more boring with these fucking lockdowns and fucking covid in general.
 
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