I'm not interested in this world because I find the system very boring. You know: studying, working, getting married, having children and keep on working until you're an old grey sick man! (However, I'm giving life a shot for now and trying to find some pleasure such as saving money and visit the country of my dreams: Japan. Yet, I would be suicidal even if I got to experience that)
As for the answers I seek, for something to exist, there's gotta be something before. Thus, nothing makes sense. You could say that big bang created time and space so it's useless to think the way I do because there was nothing before, but still, sounds weird and nonsense.
There should be nothing. No life, no universe, nothing. Why does reality exist?
There is no real answer. Science is still trying to figure it out and religions are probably lying.
I just feel like an ape on a blue rock and I'll probably never get those answers I seek.
In the end, I think we're probably "nerfed" so as never to find the real answer and we might even be in a simulation or simply, once we die there's just eternal nothing and the universe and life make no sense at all.