C
CowsAreCool
Student
- Sep 21, 2021
- 149
I am a liar
A prolific one. My whole life. As long as I've ever known. I lie.
I lie to everyone, constantly. To strangers, friends, family. Not about anything important, necessarily. Just anything. What I ate for breakfast. What I like to do or eat. How my day is going. I lie.
I'm incredibly good at it. Ridiculously good at it. I virtually never get caught. If I do get caught, I'm always able to play it as a simply misunderstanding.
But I even lie to myself. I say things, and then laying in bed at night, I'll suddenly realize they aren't true. It doesn't even occur to me as I tell the lies that they're lies. To me, in the moment, they're true. I believe half the lies I tell.
I hate living this way. But I have to lie to myself. I'm not sure I can live with myself. I tell myself that I'm smart and good looking. That I'll have a great future and that I'm capable of achieving my goals. That I add anything of value to this world.
I hate being a liar. But I hate myself more.
A prolific one. My whole life. As long as I've ever known. I lie.
I lie to everyone, constantly. To strangers, friends, family. Not about anything important, necessarily. Just anything. What I ate for breakfast. What I like to do or eat. How my day is going. I lie.
I'm incredibly good at it. Ridiculously good at it. I virtually never get caught. If I do get caught, I'm always able to play it as a simply misunderstanding.
But I even lie to myself. I say things, and then laying in bed at night, I'll suddenly realize they aren't true. It doesn't even occur to me as I tell the lies that they're lies. To me, in the moment, they're true. I believe half the lies I tell.
I hate living this way. But I have to lie to myself. I'm not sure I can live with myself. I tell myself that I'm smart and good looking. That I'll have a great future and that I'm capable of achieving my goals. That I add anything of value to this world.
I hate being a liar. But I hate myself more.