wasteandvoid
ill never be what you wanted im your lucifer
- Jun 20, 2023
- 122
The fact that I am writing this post says I still have something to prove to this falseness of a narrative that society teaches you
That you need big daddy societies permission to do this to do anything according to yourself your life
Even writing in this particular way I feel loke is entrained in me is bad even though it comes naturally to me
What if people think this and that and hate your punctuation
Fuck you
This is all I have left is a fragment of my will a fragment of myself and my natural living not left in fear
I DONT CARE IF IT DESTROYS ME TAKES EVERYTHING AWAY
WHAT DO I EVEN HAVE
THEY TAKE EVERYTHING FROM YOU INCLUDING YOURSELF
YOUR LIFE IS STOLEN AND YOU BECOME A SLAVE
I dont care if I die
Its insane there is still a will to live even after I have been suicidal so many times
If everyone leaves me thats fine if everything dies thats fine
I dont care if everything is taken away im living like I have nothing to lose because im going to kill myself if I live the other way
Constantly maintaining and stressing for worthless things that feel like nothing and have no emotional meaning
I dont care if everything I do is a mistake that costs me everything
Who am I proving this to why am I writing this
There has to be that left in me that I care because some fucking thing has me on the hook for this evil deal of societies "life"
I will never be the person you idealize me for and devalue me into for who I am for not following that no matter how destructive
I reject your deal
The entire game is a lie
Everyone talks with the implicit narrative of it except a few who really get it because they were casted away from it for not being ideal enough at the start, who are most people here
And even in its wake it still causes clinging and stress to it
Why do you stay with me die
That you need big daddy societies permission to do this to do anything according to yourself your life
Even writing in this particular way I feel loke is entrained in me is bad even though it comes naturally to me
What if people think this and that and hate your punctuation
Fuck you
This is all I have left is a fragment of my will a fragment of myself and my natural living not left in fear
I DONT CARE IF IT DESTROYS ME TAKES EVERYTHING AWAY
WHAT DO I EVEN HAVE
THEY TAKE EVERYTHING FROM YOU INCLUDING YOURSELF
YOUR LIFE IS STOLEN AND YOU BECOME A SLAVE
I dont care if I die
Its insane there is still a will to live even after I have been suicidal so many times
If everyone leaves me thats fine if everything dies thats fine
I dont care if everything is taken away im living like I have nothing to lose because im going to kill myself if I live the other way
Constantly maintaining and stressing for worthless things that feel like nothing and have no emotional meaning
I dont care if everything I do is a mistake that costs me everything
Who am I proving this to why am I writing this
There has to be that left in me that I care because some fucking thing has me on the hook for this evil deal of societies "life"
I will never be the person you idealize me for and devalue me into for who I am for not following that no matter how destructive
I reject your deal
The entire game is a lie
Everyone talks with the implicit narrative of it except a few who really get it because they were casted away from it for not being ideal enough at the start, who are most people here
And even in its wake it still causes clinging and stress to it
Why do you stay with me die
