Letter, to write or not to write?

[SugarbushMtn]

I am trying to decide to write a letter or not... There is too much to say but still nobody will understand fully why I chose this route. Seems like something you are "supposed" to do, but I feel like just leaving with no letter, just no point.. Maybe just logistical things like will and passwords etc.. What is there to say really...? What do you all think? What are you planning on doing?

 

[Backwood_tilt]

This is a useful technique in therapy: write your letters, but don't send them.

You'll probably feel better just getting it all out there in the open. But you are not obligated to send those letters - especially if you feel like no one will understand you, anyways.

I am sending prescheduled emails that basically let people know i have passed on so that they are not left guessing what happened to me. I am not doing much explaining, as i don't think there's much I can say to dull the pain.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

For me, my journey has been a long one. I am writing letters to many people, mainly to express thanks for all the effort they have put in to help me. Obviously, it's your decision, but if I was in your place I would. It may help that person to have something from you, maybe a reassurance that it wasn't there fault and maybe one last "I Love you?"
It's up to you, though.

This is a useful technique in therapy: write your letters, but don't send them.

You'll probably feel better just getting it all out there in the open. But you are not obligated to send those letters - especially if you feel like no one will understand you, anyways.

I am sending prescheduled emails that basically let people know i have passed on so that they are not left guessing what happened to me. I am not doing much explaining, as i don't think there's much I can say to dull the pain.

That sounds like a good idea. I wish I could use it for me, but I don't know the precise time of my death.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Writing letters give you the best chance to try and explain. People will have questions and letters are the best way to try and make sure people understand as best they can. Also, it's nice for them to have I think, it's personal, it's from you especially written to them.

 

[Dear Agony]

I wouldn't, mostly because I don't even know what I'd say .

 

[SugarbushMtn]

My son is my greatest concern. Must tell him something..

 

[2manyproblems]

I had a hard time doing that too. I settled with making voice recordings because writing a note is too hard.

 

[Ghost2211]

I probably won't bother. There is no point seeing any form of goodbyes or blame to my ex, and my children are far too young to receive any form of letter and that be any degree of OK. I think it would hurt my grandmother more than help if I sent her a letter. Other than that I don't have anyone else in the world.

 

[voyager]

This is a useful technique in therapy: write your letters, but don't send them.

I do that a lot on this board...


Anyway, have thought a lot about gb letters over the years. Sometimes I've wanted to write everything down, explain myself in large detail, and other times I felt like writing nothing at all. There's really just one person I'd address it to anyway, and that's my mum. The thing with people is that if they understood you in life they'll probably do so in death, too, especially if you've been able to talk to them about this issue before. Otoh if they didn't while you were alive I'm not sure this'll change once one is dead. Having the last word on it, literally, probably won't change much. It might lead to new questions/arguments by the recipient if they just don't get it, or they might feel guilty because they didn't listen to you while you were still here. So, I'm leaning more towards a short note in the classic style. Ofc, some may interpret that as cruel and unaffectionate. It's just crazy and wrong whatever we do.