Thank you very much for the detailed and informative thread. I hope you are okay, is the holiday period a difficult time for you considering where you are? This year I'm lucky to be in a country where Christmas is not celebrated, so the holidays are not as daunting. If you have time, I have the following questions, please.
1. Maybe it's stupid, but who can be my next of kin? My mom will not survive being notified of my death. Can I in a note specify not to contact her, but instead a sister or uncle (if it has to be family), or can I leave contact details of a friend? I realise the family will eventually have to know, but who receives the news can make a huge difference in how the news is processed.
2. Thank you for this, I wasn't going to leave detailed information but now think it's best to spell it out. I live in a foreign country and hope the language barrier would prevent too much investigation. In leaving answers to the who, how and when, I hope verification will be easy enough.
Method: SN. I'm guessing LE would want to know where it came from, is that something which would be investigated? I wouldn't want the supplier to get in trouble. How much should I say about it?
Why: I realise I don't matter as a decedent, but don't want people to know the details (some for their own good). Will it be enough simply to say there is nothing left living for? Again, being in a foreign country I'm hoping there won't be much digging. I think people around me (only colleagues really) don't know me well enough to suspect anything. I'm guessing further investigation is up to the family, would you recommend a personalised note to them?
I wasn't going to, but maybe it's more "clean-cut" to leave two notes, one with my ID, method and note of caution to SN, time ingested and details of who to contact. I'm planning on a hotel room (I'll find a way to caution staff to alert the police) and leaving my landlord's details as he knows where I keep my Will. I have instructions to contact a local funeral director who agreed to handle the legalities, cremation and disposal of ashes. And then a second note to the family, wherein I give the reason I think they can handle and state my wishes in regard to cremation abroad.
3. Do you have experience in receiving notification from another state/country on a case where you had to inform the local family? The embassy gave me a list of requirements for when expats die abroad, and I want to ensure my body won't be a legal or financial burden. Anything you can think of in this kind of situation? I know it's beyond borders, but maybe there is something universal or simple I'm missing? I will pay the funeral director, my family doesn't have money and won't be able to travel.
Thanks again for sharing your experience, I wish you all the best.
I'm sorry for the delay..... Cloudflare does not work in my tablet (tablet is too old) and right after Christmas, the site wouldn't let me into it without verifying via cloudflare. Today was the first day I'm able to be back so sorry for the delay in answering questions.
1. Next of kin is the most immediate family member that can be located. Upon finding the remains only the most immediate member is notified, others may (and probably Will be) identified and interviewed. Usually the hierarchy for who to notifiy immediately would be like married significant other, parents (mother and/or father depending on circumstances), siblings, then branching out to extended family like aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc if immediate family cannot be located. Unfortunately whatever you put it a note will not be followed. For example, if you wrote that about your mother and she was the most immediate family me member I could find, I would notify her regardless and just have EMS standing by. Its policy not discretion so its not because anyone is trying to be mean or cruel. Again, I was a cop in the US and can only attest to how we handled it, you mentioned a foreign country and things can always be different.
2. Putting details in a note can expedite the investigation process since it can provide a jumping off point. LE would only look into the SN distributor if the substance was illegal or they did not follow proper procedures for distributing it. Here, unless the distributor was in my state then it might be referred to the feds but only if it looked like the didn't follow the law in selling it. Honestly if you got it from somewhere and your not supposed to have it, don't mention them. They may or may not be identified later through a review of your financials or electronic devices.
Here, thanks to FOIA and various open records acts, anything can be requested and viewed by pretty much everyone though it is rarely ever done by anyone outside of the family. Whatever a note says can technically be seen by others if someone requests its but again, its rare. The family actually has no say in the investigation. The matter will be investigated regardless of anyone's wishes to the satisfaction of the investigator heading it.
A note on notes..... So while I hope everyone's circumstances dramatically change and they live happily ever after, know that whatever is said in a note will be remembered by loved ones forever. I only advise that the notes that helped family the most were ones that explained why and where the decedent told them it wasn't their fault and they loved them. Note,even sayinthose thinsgs, people were never OK. Everyone after the fact wants and wishes they could have helped the decedent in any way possible. People always went one of two ways with notes, either they were hateful and rage filled or they were loving and apologetic. One is favored by surviving loved ones more than the other.
As for arrangments for the remains, I can't really speak to it as it was the Coroner who dealt with most of that. I know usually regardless of what plans were made by the decedent, the family was still the ones who decided or not.
3. For all notifications I would be give basic details like where, when, and only sometimes how. I would be given a number and name usually to a coroner/medical examiner/whoever has the remains and would tell families to contact them for more information. Again, with overseas stuff I can't really say because I just never had one before.
Forgot I was in here before Christmas, shoulda remembered to wish ya the best holidays you can have in there!
Have worked in and counseled people in inpatient or that have been in jail/prison. Never pushed to be asking about how these holiday times went unless the individual is choosing to bring stuff up. Anyways best New Year as possible to ya, coolest cop plenty of people likely have now met...
Can't help but wonder that since 12ga is so bad for one's home, the outdoors and basically everyone involved - Arguably other than the potential good likelihood (depending of course on aim, physics, etc.) of "success" for the person getting to have choice around their life/death.
Wondering around better options;
Something such as someone that drove away somewhere. Maybe either completing in the car or for outdoors, in a tent.
Frankly these options may delay response time as well, allowing for bleeding out, etc. Because data seems clear that quick CPR and usually medical/surgical intervention are the factors that could also nullify an "attempt" with slightly off aim that may need a bit of time to "complete" to where one can't be revived (though one can hope 00 buckshot is hard to wrongly aim in the mouth or above/behind an ear).
Not asking for advise. But for y'all stakeholders like you've been, any ideas on how this method is easier/less of a burden for all involved?
Oh and silly comparatively, but you mentioned that if electronics have illegal material on them they will be destroyed instead of being given to family. Do you know if this applies to pirated media/games, or maybe even pirated software being on a computer? Again, silly shit, but one could have a family member that could hopefully have something to enjoy and salve some sadness instead of ending up destroyed because of some pirated content...
Again, @COP2CON, happy holidays, just wish ya the best!
Appreciate your warm sentiments, the holidays sucked but atleats about as much as normal lol.
For 12 gauge you can in fact "miss". Again we have a guy here who messed it up and has only 1/3 of a face now. I dealt with a few others that the same thing happened also. There's no "good" method I guess. The 100% methods are generally super messy and the "more convenient to first responders and family" is generally not assured. For a method though, I have seen a bunch of different ones where people died and others where they didnt so its kind of a toss up question for me. For any method, anything can go wrong same as everything can go right.
Lol no one would care about pirated games or music. If anything we might just look to see where you got it and then use the same site ourselves. Yes I priated things as a cop....no I never arrested anyone for pirating. When I say illegal I am referring 99% of the time to underage porn.
Anyhoo, hope things get better and sorry for the delay.
