Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,822
I can't go into details so don't ask.
But....
What do you do when you run out of options?
But....
What do you do when you run out of options?
Life. I backed myself into a major cornerAbout life or about methods?
I haven't seen anyone mention anything like this. It's typically the opposite.I think thats why a lot of us are here.
I mean externally there's a way out. But for me emotionally I just can't. Too many people would get hurt and only 1 person will be happy and that person isn't meI will CTB earlier than expected because I have gotten myself in a hole there is no way out of. In a year I will be poor, without my apartment, my car, or money to do anything. I guess I do have the option of just keep suffering, but I consider myself out of options, so the only way out is to CTB.
I guess that would be the answer to your question as well, but it is hard to say without knowing the circumstances. When depressed, one can think there is no way because of the depression, while in reality there is possibillities. But that demands the will to go on and external help.
If ctb isn't an option then in your place I would try to expand my comfort zone of what I consider options.I mean externally there's a way out. But for me emotionally I just can't. Too many people would get hurt and only 1 person will be happy and that person isn't me
Ctb is my last optionIf ctb isn't an option then in your place I would try to expand my comfort zone of what I consider options.
Why would anyone hate you for that?Ctb is my last option
F it. If someone wants to hate me for caring then that's their problem
So I've mentioned my friend here a bit and my husband. They both like me. They both care about me. And it would emotionally kill them both to be without me. And they are both amazing guys I'd do anything for...... I just don't know anymore. They hate each other and I don't want to hurt either of them :(
Because people hate cheatersWhy would anyone hate you for that?
I can see hating someone that cheats on them, but what you do in your relationship is your business.Because people hate cheaters
I've been cheating since I was 14. On EVERYONE. For the most part I don't regret it. They never cared but this is killing me inside and idk what to do anymoreI can see hating someone that cheats on them, but what you do in your relationship is your business.
I've been cheating since I was 14. On EVERYONE. For the most part I don't regret it. They never cared but this is killing me inside and idk what to do anymore
Because both have them have made it clear that's not happening. And I don't care about all the ex's I cheated on but this situation is different because they both care about me and I care about them. I never cared about my ex's.You said they never cared and you don't regret it, so why does it upset you? Also, why not enter into an open relationship where there is the understanding you want more than one lover?
That's a rough spot to be in. Unfortunately if they don't want to share then you just can't have it all. I can see why you wouldn't want to take the leap in either direction since you risk losing both, or at least harming one. What about just staying close friends with both and being lovers with neither?Because both have them have made it clear that's not happening. And I don't care about all the ex's I cheated on but this situation is different because they both care about me and I care about them. I never cared about my ex's.
I'm kinda already married to one of them. And I tried being friends but..... It doesn't work out like that very good.That's a rough spot to be in. Unfortunately if they don't want to share then you just can't have it all. I can see why you wouldn't want to take the leap in either direction since you risk losing both, or at least harming one. What about just staying close friends with both and being lovers with neither?
Oh yes, the issue of one being a spouse rather than just two dudes.... I see what you mean by backed into a corner. I've been the spouse end of your relationship dynamic. I don't know how your guys are taking it, but I can you it wore me and the my now ex's gf down over time. In the end he lost both because neither of us could take it anymore. I only say this for adding a perspective.I'm kinda already married to one of them. And I tried being friends but..... It doesn't work out like that very good.
Without going into details, personality disorder and they both have their place lol
I just can't see a situation where everyone is happy (I'm gonna fucking kill my keyboard it keeps disappearing ugh)Oh yes, the issue of one being a spouse rather than just two dudes.... I see what you mean by backed into a corner. I've been the spouse end of your relationship dynamic. I don't know how your guys are taking it, but I can you it wore me and the my now ex's gf down over time. In the end he lost both because neither of us could take it anymore. I only say this for adding a perspective.
To be honest situations like that tend to end up with everyone unhappy. It's not unreasonable for you to ask to talk to a therapist alone, and if it's a couples therapist you probably should since it's relevant to your relationship dynamic.I just can't see a situation where everyone is happy (I'm gonna fucking kill my keyboard it keeps disappearing ugh)
I've been keeping this too myself for too long. I can't tell my friend he'll feel bad. I can't tell my husband he'll get upset. I can't tell my therapist my husband will ask why I'm going alone......and I felt like I couldn't say anything here because it's all my own fault and cheating is wrong and everything
I probably won't for a while though. I just got a new therapist and trust issues and everything. I'm just not sure what to do anymoreTo be honest situations like that tend to end up with everyone unhappy. It's not unreasonable for you to ask to talk to a therapist alone, and if it's a couples therapist you probably should since it's relevant to your relationship dynamic.
Being honest or up front about the situation with one of them? Or maybe telling your husband that you want more and see where things go from there? I'm not an expert with your situation nor a therapist so I can't claim to know the best avenue here, but marriage has taught me that communication is always better than silence and secrecy.Like what?
I already tried this. And none of it was goodBeing honest or up front about the situation with one of them? Or maybe telling your husband that you want more and see where things go from there? I'm not an expert with your situation nor a therapist so I can't claim to know the best avenue here, but marriage has taught me that communication is always better than silence and secrecy.
I felt like I couldn't say anything here because it's all my own fault and cheating is wrong and everything
But perhaps the reality is that there will be pain no matter the outcome. How can you minimize the pain or keep it in the short term? Your current situation is not sustainable, and Meerut damaging to you. You need to forge ahead on a chosen path - accept the pain that comes with it, but (fingers crossed) feel good about the future.I already tried this. And none of it was good