Going to try one more time to find my biological parents (I am adopted) if that doesn't work out then it's my choice to end things on my own terms. Just need the closure to continue persevering through life - if not well this isn't mine. I don't like the direction the world is heading and don't want to be a part of it. If I can't find my place then suicide is a reasonable conclusion to it. That's where I am at. 
