Knee injury making psh (or any other type of method/hanging) impossible. Also cant tie a rope to save my life

[difficvltmachineryy]

So back in dec 2025 i suffered a really bad knee injury to my right leg, my kneecap broke and my ligament was torn. In January i had to go through a major surgery, rendering me unable to leave home for two whole months. I have been pretty depressed already before the injury happened, due to my grandmothers death, as i am a really fragile and sensitive person, but the injury and isolation made everything worse. I tried experimenting with psh, but i cant properly kneel or squat due to my right leg knee. Also i dont have the proper resources to hang myself with, like who tf tries hanging themself with a scarf or cardigan (i do lol), so the "rope" is undone. Last time it was strong enough to make me unable to breath, other time i started coughing rlly badly, before i undone it. Also no proper place to hang myself from, i am too tall and big i guess, and my family would find me. And im not sure hanging will make me see those 7 minutes i mentioned in another post (according to science your brain stays alive for 7 minutes before dying, replaying your best memories in life) and i want a method that would guarantee me that. Sorry for the rambling my head is a mess which is why ill be glad when im dead because my consciousness ceasing to exist means no more mind tormenting me...