Venting Just too tired to continue... physical & mental exhaustion

[dropdeadfred]

I think it's about time I face up to that glass of SN. My plan is Stat tomorrow (Tuesday.) Probably afternoon.
The energy I once had is never coming back... I know it because I can feel it. It's my past & my future. I am having one of the worst waves of it today. I fight just to stay awake sometimes.
I've delayed for too long. & Though I am scared as shit & feel guilty as hell, I'm past my expiration date by far. All I ultimately cause is damage. I'm tired of being a walking drag. It's no good for anyone.
Why did I come to this planet to be a source of pain? Fucking hell, it's so unfair. I keep going in & out of crying. I didn't know I could still do that.
I wish something could save me, to keep me here for the one I love... but life's not a fairytale. Just a short novel packed with cheap thrills & cruel jokes.

 

[I screwed up]

U have said everything that I feel ... Are u an other me ?? Its possibly the worst Possible phase to be in ... Plus I have a crippling SI which stops me from ctb