I just got broken up with and the entire month I've been going back and forth with CTB. I feel extremely numb and sad, and I know that no girl should ever have this much power over my life, but she was my everything, and I've had multiple long term relationships (2yrs, 3yrs, and 5yrs). There are days when my mind is so occupied I don't have time to think about her and I'm okay. But there are other days like today when I don't even flinch at the near death experience of being hit by a car. I just kept walking with no instinct to get out of the way. If the driver didn't swerve into the other lane I would've died and now thinking about it I wish he had just killed me so I wouldn't even have to think about it. I just feel like I'm never enough for anyone. All of the breakups I've been blindsided. I just can't love someone like this again and I see everyone around me happy and living their life, and I'm here contemplating ending mine because I'm just so far from being happy and it seems like I'm drowning in my life.
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