
corax
chaos gremlin
- Apr 30, 2019
- 2
Hi everyone. I usually just lurk, but this is something i can't share with anyone else in my life. Got my SN in the mail today. 100g, 99% pure.
I've always wanted to leave - the biggest obstacle in that is that i know there are people who love me, and my death will absolutely ruin them. I don't... wanna do that. Hurt the people i love. But i've also been having an increasingly terrible time lately, what with declining mental health, chronic illness, and some bad life choices i've made. So i ordered it. It's a restricted substance in my country, but i filled out the necessary paperwork. And it arrived today.
I'm not sure if/when I'm going to take it, but there is no rush. It feels very strange to have the preferred means of death in my hands finally. It fills me with a myriad of feelings, some positive, some negative, most of them confusing and overwhelming. I feel... free. In a bad way. And a good way. I don't know. It's finally here. The backdoor has been unlocked.
So yea. There it is. Can't tell anyone else. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
I've always wanted to leave - the biggest obstacle in that is that i know there are people who love me, and my death will absolutely ruin them. I don't... wanna do that. Hurt the people i love. But i've also been having an increasingly terrible time lately, what with declining mental health, chronic illness, and some bad life choices i've made. So i ordered it. It's a restricted substance in my country, but i filled out the necessary paperwork. And it arrived today.
I'm not sure if/when I'm going to take it, but there is no rush. It feels very strange to have the preferred means of death in my hands finally. It fills me with a myriad of feelings, some positive, some negative, most of them confusing and overwhelming. I feel... free. In a bad way. And a good way. I don't know. It's finally here. The backdoor has been unlocked.
So yea. There it is. Can't tell anyone else. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.