I really understand, I just see so much cruelty in how there isn't the option to just peacefully cease existing and never suffer in this dreadful, torturous and cruel existence ever again, all I want is to be gone, it truly is the most horrific world where painless, guaranteed death is denied with the suffering and torture of this dreadful existence seen as to force and prolong no matter what, it's just all so cruel and terrible, all I want is to be gone, I just want to never suffer in this existence I just always saw as a mistake again.