Just felt something

[ShatteredSoul]

For the first time and for a split second I actually felt relief and happiness when I was just thinking about a date I could cbt on. I've never felt that before. What does it mean? Does it mean my depression has worsened? Does it mean I might actually be able to fight my survival instincts soon?
Thoughts please.

 

[wantittoendsoon]

For the first time and for a split second I actually felt relief and happiness when I was just thinking about a date I could cbt on. I've never felt that before. What does it mean? Does it mean my depression has worsened? Does it mean I might actually be able to fight my survival instincts soon?
Thoughts please.

That is very common...just knowing you have that option can help you go on...definitely helped me

 

[donealready]

I can't even remember the last time I was this hopeful, peaceful and content since planning and focusing on CTB.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

Whoever laughed at my post. Please tell my what was so funny?

 

[FuneralCry]

This is a completely understandable way to feel. It makes sense to me feeling relieved that everything that this life has burdened us with will finally be coming to an end. The only thing that comforts me is the thought of being gone from this world and never having to endure another second of being here. I know that if I had a peaceful method like N by my side now I know that I would feel a massive relief, it would literally be the best thing possible for me.

 

[Wannagonow]

That is very common...just knowing you have that option can help you go on...definitely helped me

Yes. Knowing the option is there has helped me as well. Never helps for long, but I'll take glimpses of feeling content when I can get it.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

For me it wasn't a thing of helping me go on.
It just felt like a sense of relief that I won't have to endure any more pain and I'll finally be free from a body that hates me and a body that I in turn despise. I'm not happy and I never will be and the future is absolutely hopeless and grim.
I'm not willing to go through anymore, whether God is real or not. If he's angry then he's not an all loving God and must have the I.Q of a toddler. Who with any modicum of empathy could be angry at someone who literally can't take anymore?

 

[releasespieces]

Been there and done that. I think it's a very common feeling, a sense of relief from all of the insane bullshit life piles onto us. It could mean you're ready to CTB, but I had the same feeling 2-3 years ago and here I am typing away.

 

[zeenatax]

Yes I also do get that feeling when I think of ctb. When I realize ctb means end of suffering.

 

[Sunny-Moon]

For the first time and for a split second I actually felt relief and happiness when I was just thinking about a date I could cbt on. I've never felt that before. What does it mean? Does it mean my depression has worsened? Does it mean I might actually be able to fight my survival instincts soon?
Thoughts please.

I also feel relief and contentment whenever I think about CTB. As much as I'd like to leave this world, I still have no idea how or if I'd be successful. The actual thought of escape is what brings me some comfort.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

For the first time and for a split second I actually felt relief and happiness when I was just thinking about a date I could cbt on. I've never felt that before. What does it mean? Does it mean my depression has worsened? Does it mean I might actually be able to fight my survival instincts soon?
Thoughts please.

To me, it sounds like you have become resolved. This is the place I am, also.