Venting “Just be yourself!”

[leftdreaming]

Well that was shitty advice. Ruined my own life by "being myself" and became the worst version of whatever I could've been.

 

[juxtajuno]

"just be yourself" feels like such terrible advice in general. whenever i tried to be myself i was just labelled as the "weird kid" or the "potential school shooter." it's such a pathetic lie. they want to act like they've given you the right and ability to express yourself, but if you do anything out of the norm suddenly you're a weirdo. i empathize with you greatly.

 

[blacksand]

I've always seen it as a passive agressive subtle push to stay in your lane. Don't think of trying to associate with us popular people just beeee urself so we can shit on you for it.

 

[kwho]

I agree that it's really shitty advice for young people. And it's something that mostly gets said to the very young.

I've always felt that people should be held accountable for all the dumb shit they mindlessly say to children and teenagers. Like by sewing their stupid mouths shut. These platitudes ruin at least as many lives as drunk driving.

On the other hand - once you actually know who you are and then act like yourself - people are very drawn to that. At least my experience. Know who you are 1st and then be who you are -that seems to be the trick.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Well that was shitty advice. Ruined my own life by "being myself" and became the worst version of whatever I could've been.

Hello @leftdreaming,
I agree, I've been badly damaged because of my self-expression, too.

Yes, in general, being yourself IRL requires fortitude and is very hard.
But I think in this forum people listen to each other, as we are pro-choice.
There might be few exceptions, but here I think almost everyone is heard.
I believe Sanctioned Suicide is a defender of our voice.

I think you are welcomed when you express yourself but not disclosing your feeling much is also fine.
We are pro-choice

 

[leftdreaming]

I think you are welcomed when you express yourself but not disclosing your feeling much is also fine.
We are pro-choice

Thank you. It's somewhat daunting joining a new community like this, especially since I know what it's like to be rejected. I have met a lot of like-minded individuals here, so I feel comfortable enough being myself. Wish it was like this in more places.

 

[OceanBlue]

There is some version of alternative that the society will accept, as long as it doesn't threaten its existence.
That's why most alt-peope are just normal people with different style choices.

'Being yourself' authenticity thing is definitely overrated as we are not the best species. We need to be very careful with what comes out of our brains, what we think and do.

 

[Hotsackage]

being like i am. at least i can tell who the assholes are. which is almost everyone

 

[leavingsoon99]

Nah, be yourself. The problem is that (for me), I altered who I was to be accepted. Either way, society likes 'cookie-cutter'. Everyone has to be like everyone. Everyone must fit into a box. If you don't fit into a box, you're an outcast. And this can be with being yourself or selling out and becoming some watered-down version of yourself. The greatest thing a person can do is stay true to themselves. Like someone else said in here, humans are NOT the best species and are in no position to validate anyone nor anything. That's just my two cents.

 

[Vizzy]

we are not the best species

I disagree, even though I am not a big fan of some things humans do still I would say we are the best among any species in the earth

Just look at the humans development in the history (I know some are really bad) but we came a long way as humans, we have developed things which are helping other species, we have created a entire field for other animals which is veterinary, development in science and technology and we have eliminated or found medicines to protect us from the dangerous diseases

I don't know what else you want more to prove that we are the best!

 

[kwho]

The greatest thing a person can do is stay true to themselves.

Such an underrated quality!!!

May be because all the energy is being spent on futile attempts at being "faithful" to other people? Or trying to "make them" be faithful to oneself?

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

1. As soon as I learn to be someone else, I'll get right onto that.
2. In order to be anything at all first you have to know who you are. A much better advice would be "Know yourself."
3. Affirmation is not always the best advice. Sometimes, change is better.