Just ate a bunch of food again. I'm tired of this

[BitterlyAlive]

I had two tacos, a box of crackers, and two packs of chocolate. I feel like a fifthy disgusting pig. I wish I could stop this, but my reaction is to heavily restrict which makes everything worse.

 

[Squiddy]

I know how you feel. I eat way too much myself and hate it. I need to lose 80 lbs (I'm 5'4 213lbs)

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I know how you feel. I eat way too much myself and hate it. I need to lose 80 lbs (I'm 5'4 213lbs)

It's so annoying. I managed to lose about 70 pounds due to pure anxiety last year. Wish i could be in that state again tbh.

 

[Squiddy]

It's so annoying. I managed to lose about 70 pounds due to pure anxiety last year. Wish i could be in that state again tbh.

I lost 40lbs once by doing these Insanity DVDs (was 170lb at the time)

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I lost 40lbs once by doing these Insanity DVDs (was 170lb at the time)

Oh God. Exercise makes me want to die. I'm really glad it worked for you, though.

 

[Squiddy]

Oh God. Exercise makes me want to die. I'm really glad it worked for you, though.

I hate exercise too, but did it because I wanted to lose the weight

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I hate exercise too, but did it because I wanted to lose the weight

I may have to try it. Do you have a favorite exercise from the videos?

 

[Squiddy]

Hmm, I'd have to look at them again

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I was really good during the first few months of quarantine. I would work out every day etc. But then I kinda gave up because it was like, what's the point if I'm gonna die anyway. I'm considering starting to get into a healthy routine again. Anyone wanna be my workout buddy?

I watched a lot of Blogilates videos on YouTube. She does a workout calendar every month that you can follow, where each day you watch and workout to a few of her videos.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I was really good during the first few months of quarantine. I would work out every day etc. But then I kinda gave up because it was like, what's the point if I'm gonna die anyway. I'm considering starting to get into a healthy routine again. Anyone wanna be my workout buddy?

I watched a lot of Blogilates videos on YouTube. She does a workout calendar every month that you can follow, where each day you watch and workout to a few of her videos.

I'm not nearly bold enough to be workout buddys with anyone, but I really hope someone here responds. Accountability can make all the difference, and it seems more fun with a friend too. Sorry for the late response - I read this and then completely forgot about it :(

 

[SipSop]

I am on the other side of the spectrum.
Barely eat. Only when I am rrally hungry I eat something to not go crazy.
I have no reason to look good, to eat healthy, to exercise and put on muscles.
I have no reason.
Everything I did was not enough.
I was not enough at my best damn shape.

 

[madbananas]

I could eat and eat and eat. So I get how you feel. Hugs
on the weekend I will get a McDonald's and basically order about 4 different sandwiches/burgers, portion of fries and two drinks. Im 5ft 4 and 200lbs. Thankfully my weekdays aren't like that, but they have been in the past.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I am on the other side of the spectrum.
Barely eat. Only when I am rrally hungry I eat something to not go crazy.
I have no reason to look good, to eat healthy, to exercise and put on muscles.
I have no reason.
Everything I did was not enough.
I was not enough at my best damn shape.

I was on the other side when this depressive episode began. I literally felt too sick to eat. Then my meds fucked me up and here we are. And I'm too lazy to actively change my situation.

Is there something that prevents you from eating, mate?

I could eat and eat and eat. So I get how you feel. Hugs
on the weekend I will get a McDonald's and basically order about 4 different sandwiches/burgers, portion of fries and two drinks. Im 5ft 4 and 200lbs. Thankfully my weekdays aren't like that, but they have been in the past.

Ah fuck the McDonald's thing is me. Fish filet, nuggets, mcdouble, and maybe a fry. I've really been this way since I was a kid. I would eat like this to try and fill the void, I think. I'm glad it's only weekends for you now; any amount of progress is huge!

 

[madbananas]

I was on the other side when this depressive episode began. I literally felt too sick to eat. Then my meds fucked me up and here we are. And I'm too lazy to actively change my situation.

Is there something that prevents you from eating, mate?

Ah fuck the McDonald's thing is me. Fish filet, nuggets, mcdouble, and maybe a fry. I've really been this way since I was a kid. I would eat like this to try and fill the void, I think. I'm glad it's only weekends for you now; any amount of progress is huge!

I also love the fish filet! Sometimes I get two of them with extra tartare sauce. And a double quarter pounder with cheese, Big Mac. Sometimes even some mozzarella sticks.
My medication also fucked me up, making me crave carbs big time! And thank you. I mean I still eat rubbish during the week but not like I do on weekends. Basically No takeaways during week for me but still processed food all the way

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I also love the fish filet! Sometimes I get two of them with extra tartare sauce. And a double quarter pounder with cheese, Big Mac. Sometimes even some mozzarella sticks.
My medication also fucked me up, making me crave carbs big time! And thank you. I mean I still eat rubbish during the week but not like I do on weekends. Basically No takeaways during week for me but still processed food all the way

WHAT your McDonald's has mozzarella sticks? No fair. Ours was only temporary lmao. Ya know, I don't even like eating. It's just a gross compulsion and a delusion that I'll feel any better after chomping away. Lmao. Also yes on the processed foods. Cooking is too tiring.

I often worry that I'm not really depressed or that there's something else wrong because the antidepressants shifted my eating habits so bad. Stupid

 

[Squiddy]

Man I love McDonald's. A quarter pounder with cheese, a large fry and a strawberry banana smoothie for me

 

[woxihuanni]

I wish I could make nice home-made comfort food for you all. It'd be just as satisfying just more healthy.

I'd be feeling just as guilty for starving for days now, but it is pointless. I don't see much time left anyway to care if I look like a skeleton.

 

[madbananas]

WHAT your McDonald's has mozzarella sticks? No fair. Ours was only temporary lmao. Ya know, I don't even like eating. It's just a gross compulsion and a delusion that I'll feel any better after chomping away. Lmao. Also yes on the processed foods. Cooking is too tiring.

I often worry that I'm not really depressed or that there's something else wrong because the antidepressants shifted my eating habits so bad. Stupid

same here and I always feel worse afterward, both physically (obviously lol) and emotionally.
And well they are on our menu right now lol I better get some before they leave Cue me eating them every day from now on until they leave the menu (jokes haha).
And 100% try not to judge your own experience based on effects of antidepressants because the side effect list of them is basically everything under the sun. If you feel depressed, then that is completely valid. And also, because you feel it's linked to medication use, I would say that's a sign that the medication is doing something, whether that's beneficial or not so much.

 

[Valon]

I basically have a fast food addiction but I don't really care to change my bad habits. I don't plan on living that much longer and I feel like food is the only thing that's reliable in this shitty world. Food isn't ever gonna let you down.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I wish I could make nice home-made comfort food for you all. It'd be just as satisfying just more healthy.

I'd be feeling just as guilty for starving for days now, but it is pointless. I don't see much time left anyway to care if I look like a skeleton.

Your comment is so thoughtful and kind!

I live with my parents who make plenty of comfort meals, fortunately - we're having homemade spaghetti and meatballs later. I also managed to make homemade meals for a while earlier this year because I was living with someone else. I can't be kind enough to myself, or muster the energy for myself, to cook anymore. Scrambled eggs on a very good day, and that's it. Sigh

same here and I always feel worse afterward, both physically (obviously lol) and emotionally.
And well they are on our menu right now lol I better get some before they leave Cue me eating them every day from now on until they leave the menu (jokes haha).
And 100% try not to judge your own experience based on effects of antidepressants because the side effect list of them is basically everything under the sun. If you feel depressed, then that is completely valid. And also, because you feel it's linked to medication use, I would say that's a sign that the medication is doing something, whether that's beneficial or not so much.

Lmfao I wouldn't judge if you got them every day. They're tasty. I remember years ago we had a steak breakfast burrito...if I knew it was going away I would have gotten it daily

You're right. At least the meds did something. :)

I basically have a fast food addiction but I don't really care to change my bad habits. I don't plan on living that much longer and I feel like food is the only thing that's reliable in this shitty world. Food isn't ever gonna let you down.

Ya know what, if you're planning on dying soon anyway why not? And damn right, food is always there for you. Lmao

 

[Deleted member 19654]

My problem isn't that I'm not eating healthily, I'm just not getting enough exercise in so my weight is just stuck. Luckily it's not going up but it's not going down either.

Thanks to covid, I've not been ordering food or going out to buy fast food since March so my food habits are better. I would love to give being a vegan a go but it's hard enough trying to be vegetarian in an Asian household.

 

[madbananas]

Your comment is so thoughtful and kind!

I live with my parents who make plenty of comfort meals, fortunately - we're having homemade spaghetti and meatballs later. I also managed to make homemade meals for a while earlier this year because I was living with someone else. I can't be kind enough to myself, or muster the energy for myself, to cook anymore. Scrambled eggs on a very good day, and that's it. Sigh

Lmfao I wouldn't judge if you got them every day. They're tasty. I remember years ago we had a steak breakfast burrito...if I knew it was going away I would have gotten it daily

You're right. At least the meds did something. :)

Ya know what, if you're planning on dying soon anyway why not? And damn right, food is always there for you. Lmao

I'm devastated that McDonald's in my area used to have a breakfast wrap but stupid COVID got it removed! Was my favourite breakfast item!

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm devastated that McDonald's in my area used to have a breakfast wrap but stupid COVID got it removed! Was my favourite breakfast item!

Breakfast wrap? Like the breakfast burritos with sausage, eggs, peppers, and cheese? Man, COVID ruined so many things. The struggle

 

[madbananas]

Breakfast wrap? Like the breakfast burritos with sausage, eggs, peppers, and cheese? Man, COVID ruined so many things. The struggle

I wish! I would have loved a burrito. the breakfast wrap here had a sausage patty, egg, cheese, bacon and a hash brown (technically a potato rosti but basically same thing and I loved it just as much). Also came with either tomato ketchup or brown sauce

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I wish! I would have loved a burrito. the breakfast wrap here had a sausage patty, egg, cheese, bacon and a hash brown (technically a potato rosti but basically same thing and I loved it just as much). Also came with either tomato ketchup or brown sauce

Okay that sounds really good. Get on it, McDonald's! Come on!

On another note, it reminds me of when I worked at McDonald's and we always made shit like that. We loved making "tacos" with the reg meat. Mmm

 

[SipSop]

Is there something that prevents you from eating, mate?

No, I have food and money to buy whatever I please.
But my body does not ask for much food and to answer your question: it is more like a mental block. I do not see the reason in taking care of myself. To eat, in order to have energy to workout and look good and well fed. I do not see the point of it, it seems too much effort for nothing. Nothing to gain, no goals worth pursuing. I wanted something more than life and I failed. From then it was only down the hill for me.

 

[woxihuanni]

Your comment is so thoughtful and kind!

I live with my parents who make plenty of comfort meals, fortunately - we're having homemade spaghetti and meatballs later. I also managed to make homemade meals for a while earlier this year because I was living with someone else. I can't be kind enough to myself, or muster the energy for myself, to cook anymore. Scrambled eggs on a very good day, and that's it. Sigh

You are not alone in this It is almost universal that if we eat alone we don't have motivation to cook anything complicated, or anything at all.

 

[mathieu]

I struggle with overeating too. I eat to comfort myself but it makes me feel worse after.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

You are not alone in this It is almost universal that if we eat alone we don't have motivation to cook anything complicated, or anything at all.

Mmm, thank you. I guess you're right. Depression makes it so easy to feel alone

No, I have food and money to buy whatever I please.
But my body does not ask for much food and to answer your question: it is more like a mental block. I do not see the reason in taking care of myself. To eat, in order to have energy to workout and look good and well fed. I do not see the point of it, it seems too much effort for nothing. Nothing to gain, no goals worth pursuing. I wanted something more than life and I failed. From then it was only down the hill for me.

That's perfectly understandable. It's a rough spot to be in - I feel the same way towards myself.

I struggle with overeating too. I eat to comfort myself but it makes me feel worse after.

Yes, the shame following whatever this is hurts so bad.

 

[noaccount]

There's really not

such a thing as "eating too much"

it's what our bodies do to survive

The message that there is, pushes people to restrict more.

Shame is a product of an abusive fatphobic culture, not a property of any of the things you nourished yourself with.

After any kind of starvation, the body needs extra energy (calories) to repair tissue damage, often for much longer than the starvation lasted - Minnesota starvation experiments showed this.

Part II: What Does BED Really Look Like? — E D I

Second of two parts looking at binge eating disorder BED and its inclusion as a standalone eating disorder in the DSM-5 and what this means for those sure that bingeing causes BED.

edinstitute.org