2muchpain2
Member
- Feb 27, 2025
- 21
I have been wanting to ctb for years now, and it has gotten so much worse over the last 6 months. I'm getting desperate now, and I am only hanging on for the right opportunity and method, one that will cause the least amount of trauma for my mom and others I'll leave behind. BUT, it is to a point now where I do not want to suffer any longer for the sake of my loved ones. sounds selfish, and perhaps it is, but that's what suicidal thoughts will do to us. I digress, today I sat on the cliff at the ocean and, although I am scared of heights, I felt like maybe I could just get really close and "lose my balance"....so this is something I'm considering. I'm trying to gauge whether or not I could potentially survive though. The cliff is about 50 feet I'd say, maybe a bit more. there are lots of large rocks at the bottom and ofc the ocean. What are the chances I would live through a fall like that?
My other option is hanging, which I am more comfortable with since I can do it privately somewhere, but then there will be no doubt that it was intentional. I did have an idea and wanted to run it by you guys. I hike a lot, like almost every day, it is one of the few things in life that make me feel happy in the moment. I read somewhere that someone lost their beloved dog when he got his leash caught on a fence and strangled himself :( This made me thing, do you think it's risky to try to get my shirt caught on a fence or branch and hang making it seem like an accident? Prisoners hang themselves with clothing all the time, so I know it's possible. Anyway, please help me figure this out. I need to make this happen by next week as my mom will be out of town and that just makes more sense in my situation.
need help with the jumping distance, and the other idea asap.
My other option is hanging, which I am more comfortable with since I can do it privately somewhere, but then there will be no doubt that it was intentional. I did have an idea and wanted to run it by you guys. I hike a lot, like almost every day, it is one of the few things in life that make me feel happy in the moment. I read somewhere that someone lost their beloved dog when he got his leash caught on a fence and strangled himself :( This made me thing, do you think it's risky to try to get my shirt caught on a fence or branch and hang making it seem like an accident? Prisoners hang themselves with clothing all the time, so I know it's possible. Anyway, please help me figure this out. I need to make this happen by next week as my mom will be out of town and that just makes more sense in my situation.
need help with the jumping distance, and the other idea asap.
