I've tried to hang myself...

[hoffnungstod]

In my desperation that the SN did not arrive, I've tried to hang myself (partial). I know it was kind of impulsive but the feeling afterwards is absolutely horrible. I'm feeling like the worst piece of...
The results: clear red marks on the neck and slightly shaking legs.
I have to work tomorrow and I have no clue what to do now...

 

[Spitfire]

Can you call off work tomorrow? If you could and got that done you could try to relax and even call off for a second day, saying you are not feeling well.

A lot of places with covid now take being sick even for a few days in a row with more acceptance.

 

[Avyn]

You can try to cover the marks with makeup, wear a scarf or a turtleneck sweater. I am sorry you to hear you failed, hopefully next time it will go well for you.

 

[Spitfire]

They make these things I never knew of that people use often now with covid.. called a Neck Gaiter you can wear and it will cover up your neck completely.

They are used as masks and they stay around the neck to be pulled up over the nose when being used.

 

[hoffnungstod]

Can you call off work tomorrow? If you could and got that done you could try to relax and even call off for a second day, saying you are not feeling well.

A lot of places with covid now take being sick even for a few days in a row with more acceptance.

They won't be thrilled about it because I was in home office for 2 weeks, but yeah would be the best.

 

[Spitfire]

I think so, as long as your job is not in jeopardy and you are in good standing at work. It should not matter if you are-were sick even for a day or two, right?

 

[megafire]

i failed at partial recently, just like you! wear a turtleneck and keep to yourself. or if you can, work from home, citing car issues or something.

 

[hoffnungstod]

I think so, as long as your job is not in jeopardy and you are in good standing at work. It should not matter if you are-were sick even for a day or two, right?

Right, but the whole situation... I'm feeling like the biggest failure.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I guess that's why they call it "partial".

 

[Spitfire]

Right, but the whole situation... I'm feeling like the biggest failure.

It sounds like this was a very traumatic experience. I am sorry to hear you went through it.

Was this the first time trying partial? I have heard people who were practicing doing this method say it is difficult to get it right. I think this method is prone to failure.

 

[hoffnungstod]

It sounds like this was a very traumatic experience. I am sorry to hear you went through it.

Was this the first time trying partial? I have heard people who were practicing doing this method say it is difficult to get it right. I think this method is prone to failure.

It was the first time trying partial, yes. Just pure despair was the reason for it, you know. Not a method that I would have preferred.

 

[Spitfire]

Impulsive too.

I have never tried this method to practice with a ligature, but I imagine there is a learned technique to it.

It is pleasant and euphoric fading to black when I block the blood flow with my fingers.

I wonder what went wrong with your attempt?

 

[hoffnungstod]

I wonder what went wrong with your attempt?

My anchor point was the doorknob, so I let myself slide more and more towards the ground.
It would probably have been better to just let myself fall. Dunno..

 

[ljl]

I have spent entire days attempting partial, its not easy and its not fun but its also like in my experience a method that if you fail people dont take you seriously like youre attention seeking and instead of support people give the opposite. Idk if its bc people think hanging is easy or bc the people in my life are shit but the feeling attempting partial has left me with in the past is not great. Idk what im trying to say here, im not good at offering supportive words but i do hope you find some comfort. My red marks from this usually fade pretty fast idk how bad yours are. Im sorry youre feeling this way and i know the feeling after attempting partial and failing can sometimes highten the negative feelings and make things even darker and if youre experiencing that, youre not alone and it might feel and seem like it but it is not a reflection on you.

 

[Silver]

Your neck marks should fade quite a lot in a couple of days; mine did.

If you can't wear a high collar or zip-neck sweater or scarf, then I think you should take time off work if you want to avoid attention.

 

[Trisolaris]

It is really hard to do partial. Tried it dozens of times.

 

[deleted]

I also tried to hang myself but it was with my shoelace and now there is a fucked up mark on my neck, and that should be 1 week ago, but I don't leave the house so I don't have to worry

 

[Reiraku]

In my desperation that the SN did not arrive, I've tried to hang myself (partial). I know it was kind of impulsive but the feeling afterwards is absolutely horrible. I'm feeling like the worst piece of...
The results: clear red marks on the neck and slightly shaking legs.
I have to work tomorrow and I have no clue what to do now...

Yeah, CTB spontaniously out of impulse doesn't seem to work most of the time. But even so, partial hanging isn't really ideal either way, at least in my opinion. Hey, at least you didn't get some permanent damage. You should be able to easily hide the marks with a turtleneck or even a scarf. It's damn cold nowadays, so nobody should bat an eye, even if you wore it inside. If someone asks, you can just say you just recovered from a fever.

 

[Screamer59]

I know the feeling . Tried twice today . Just made me sick . It's obviously not the easiest way . I'm in the UK , so can't get SN . Nothing is ever easy !