I've built a 'happy' life but it's still not enough

[Redpanda18]

Hi. Very new here. I was looking through and saw a post asking essentially if anyone who was rich felt like dying. I am by no means rich (at least from my POV), but despite my mental illness I've built a life around me that should make me happy, but it doesn't. I cannot point to anything that is 'wrong' to make me feel this way. So what do you do at this point? I look around and everything is fine, but it doesnt feel fine. What's the answer if you're surrounded by friends and family, and somehow also have a job that you care about? It's still not enough.

 

[faust]

It may be never enough. There are no strict borders between "not enough" or "abundance". That is the spot where most of the people fall. It is when you have everything but you start questioning if it truly makes you happy. Happiness is not something what comes from external world, it comes from inside. Maybe your life does not have that drive. There is no point in looking for happiness in comfort. Only adventure can make you feel truly alive, doing what you never did and would never do. Otherwise you will merely lose an interest in life.

 

[SerialFailer]

It may be never enough. There are no strict borders between "not enough" or "abundance". That is the spot where most of the people fall. It is when you have everything but you start questioning if it truly makes you happy. Happiness is not something what comes from external world, it comes from inside. Maybe your life does not have that drive. There is no point in looking for happiness in comfort. Only adventure can make you feel truly alive, doing what you never did and would never do. Otherwise you will merely lose an interest in life.

Which is why many people with "everything" still just end living life in hedonism, because there's nothing that brings them lasting happiness/satisfaction from the outside. Unfortunately, this is not affordable or possible for most people.

Many people never find something that makes them satisfied to live, and you did bring a good point that adventure (or novelty, adrenaline rushes) will make people feel alive. But chasing that's also not realistic for people who have to give it their all to barely survive.

 

[Cosmiq]

I don't remember the thread I might have mentioned this. But I stated that I went to group therapy for depression, one of the guys was older like Mr. Rogers old. He had children and grandchildren, still married, did well financially, and was highly admired at his job and would be retiring soon. The fact that he was sitting in the same room with me just made me think that for some people things might never get better in regards to their mental health. I just thought about how I better off myself sooner than later.
I'm pretty sure my therapist put the group together because it was very diverse and she figured it'd be a good idea to see that everyone could be experiencing depression and that no one is immune. It was basically a group of opposite stereotypes. There was a girl that was like a pretty insta influencer type, a soft-spoken kinda plain conservative girl, and me that gave off a kinda rocker party tomboy type with tattoos. Others in the group were a washed-up musician, the old Mr. Rogers guy, a younger wealthy guy who was decent looking, an older guy who was physical ill and had a nurse just outside the room, and middle-aged woman that gave off hippie "Karen" vibes.

So basically, nothing can make you immune or guarantee your happiness. There are things that might lighten or increase the weight of pain you hold. But don't let it make you feel guilty if other peoples standards for happiness don't make you happy.

 

[faust]

Which is why many people with "everything" still just end living life in hedonism, because there's nothing that brings them lasting happiness/satisfaction from the outside. Unfortunately, this is not affordable or possible for most people.

Many people never find something that makes them satisfied to live, and you did bring a good point that adventure (or novelty, adrenaline rushes) will make people feel alive. But chasing that's also not realistic for people who have to give it their all to barely survive.

There are much better things which are free or relatively free. Lots of people are traveling around the world with no money at all, hitchhiking or hiking is totally free if you take canned food with you, know how to make money in your journey and sleep in a tent. That's a good adventure for life. No wonder many people drop their good jobs and start traveling. Because life in comfort is totally meaningless. Well, if you are rich, you can do the same too, the difference is only that you can afford some more things.

 

[Redpanda18]

I don't remember the thread I might have mentioned this. But I stated that I went to group therapy for depression, one of the guys was older like Mr. Rogers old. He had children and grandchildren, still married, did well financially, and was highly admired at his job and would be retiring soon. The fact that he was sitting in the same room with me just made me think that for some people things might never get better in regards to their mental health. I just thought about how I better off myself sooner than later.
I'm pretty sure my therapist put the group together because it was very diverse and she figured it'd be a good idea to see that everyone could be experiencing depression and that no one is immune. It was basically a group of opposite stereotypes. There was a girl that was like a pretty insta influencer type, a soft-spoken kinda plain conservative girl, and me that gave off a kinda rocker party tomboy type with tattoos. Others in the group were a washed-up musician, the old Mr. Rogers guy, a younger wealthy guy who was decent looking, an older guy who was physical ill and had a nurse just outside the room, and middle-aged woman that gave off hippie "Karen" vibes.

So basically, nothing can make you immune or guarantee your happiness. There are things that might lighten or increase the weight of pain you hold. But don't let it make you feel guilty if other peoples standards for happiness don't make you happy.

I lost my dad to suicide a few years and it was similar. He had the engineer job, financial stability, family, etc, but it just crumbled around him. A support group person referred to it as "terminally depressed". I think I'm at war with my brain wondering if I'll get better, am I terminally depressed, what can I do for myself to make everyday feel worth it. I still have this flicker of hope that maybe I just get to my next phase in life and I'll figure it all out. But how many people do I end up hurting if I do end it all? You know? I guess hence why we're all here on this forum, these battles with ourselves and support.

 

[SerialFailer]

There are much better things which are free or relatively free. Lots of people are traveling around the world with no money at all, hitchhiking or hiking is totally free if you take canned food with you, know how to make money in your journey and sleep in a tent. That's a good adventure for life. No wonder many people drop their good jobs and start traveling. Because life in comfort is totally meaningless. Well, if you are rich, you can do the same too, the difference is only that you can afford some more things.

Many if not most people aren't capable of doing that. I know I'm not.

 

[Exitforme]

I'm pretty sure food in the fridge and a comfortable bed will make me happy. Not much, really, but everything I don't have

 

[ssaaahmo]

I hope you know your pain is valid. Emotional anguish can strike anybody anytime and it's frustrating to not have the reasons that others want, but just know the way you feel is understandable.

 

[Redpanda18]

I hope you know your pain is valid. Emotional anguish can strike anybody anytime and it's frustrating to not have the reasons that others want, but just know the way you feel is understandable.

I truly appreciate the kind words.