sunny.sativa
organic
- Apr 2, 2019
- 317
I've wanted to join the Navy since I was a sophomore in high school.
Last week, I made the official decision to begin the process. I stopped using marijuana immediately (yeah I know, keep your thoughts to yourself on that) and initiated my own physical training, in order to meet the requirements for entry.
A recruiter once told me that they can't see my medical history when I enlist. I thought that sounded innacurate, but I went with it, seeing as he's been a sailor for 11 years and I didn't know squat.
I've been researching it and because of my hospitalizations and medications and diagnoses and .. self harm scars, I'd be denied immediately. He gave me false information. False hope.
This is what's been keeping me going. This was my goal and my dream and I don't see myself enjoying life any other way, honestly. It was gonna set me up.
I'd have a purpose. I'd have an important job to do everyday and I'd put 100% into it. I'd get wholesome benefits and a promised retirement after only 20 years of service. I'd travel the world and experience the sea.
I dreamed of having a fast, new car afterwards. I thought I had a chance. And I was feeling amazing today. This one really hurts.
I can't cope right now.
Last week, I made the official decision to begin the process. I stopped using marijuana immediately (yeah I know, keep your thoughts to yourself on that) and initiated my own physical training, in order to meet the requirements for entry.
A recruiter once told me that they can't see my medical history when I enlist. I thought that sounded innacurate, but I went with it, seeing as he's been a sailor for 11 years and I didn't know squat.
I've been researching it and because of my hospitalizations and medications and diagnoses and .. self harm scars, I'd be denied immediately. He gave me false information. False hope.
This is what's been keeping me going. This was my goal and my dream and I don't see myself enjoying life any other way, honestly. It was gonna set me up.
I'd have a purpose. I'd have an important job to do everyday and I'd put 100% into it. I'd get wholesome benefits and a promised retirement after only 20 years of service. I'd travel the world and experience the sea.
I dreamed of having a fast, new car afterwards. I thought I had a chance. And I was feeling amazing today. This one really hurts.
I can't cope right now.