Venting I’ve been waking up in tears.

[Pancake]

I don't remember the last time I've had a good dream. Mostly nightmares or no dream at all. Recently though, I've been having dreams that make me awfully depressed. Dreams about them and reminders of a few of the biggest regrets of my life. I miss them. And I regret so much.

I had been working on not feeling so anguishing during the day and it works to some effect. But nothing I do can stop the pain at night. The dreams make me restless and keep me awake. If I don't manage to sleep through the night, I feel frightened and alone. It's unbearable. I want to sleep, sleep will sedate me. But I can't, my heart is beating too fast. I just want to rest. But now my precious rest only reminds me of my pain. The only thing I can think of is to never wake up, but I can't. I'm too scared.

 

[orca87]

I can so so much relate to that. I don't have these intense dreams or nightmares. But nights keeping me awake, waking up is a horror trip. And the feeling of having lost the best things and people in my life is overwhelming.

For how long do you already suffer your loss?

 

[FuneralCry]

There certainly is no peace to be found in this hellish world, sadly. As humans we at least deserve some kind of rest through sleep, as after all sleep is the closest thing to non existence.

 

[qsocdu]

I don't remember the last time I've had a good dream. Mostly nightmares or no dream at all. Recently though, I've been having dreams that make me awfully depressed. Dreams about them and reminders of a few of the biggest regrets of my life. I miss them. And I regret so much.

I had been working on not feeling so anguishing during the day and it works to some effect. But nothing I do can stop the pain at night. The dreams make me restless and keep me awake. If I don't manage to sleep through the night, I feel frightened and alone. It's unbearable. I want to sleep, sleep will sedate me. But I can't, my heart is beating too fast. I just want to rest. But now my precious rest only reminds me of my pain. The only thing I can think of is to never wake up, but I can't. I'm too scared.

If you start smoking weed you gonna stop dreaming.

 

[nozomu]

I don't remember the last time I've had a good dream. Mostly nightmares or no dream at all. Recently though, I've been having dreams that make me awfully depressed. Dreams about them and reminders of a few of the biggest regrets of my life. I miss them. And I regret so much.

I had been working on not feeling so anguishing during the day and it works to some effect. But nothing I do can stop the pain at night. The dreams make me restless and keep me awake. If I don't manage to sleep through the night, I feel frightened and alone. It's unbearable. I want to sleep, sleep will sedate me. But I can't, my heart is beating too fast. I just want to rest. But now my precious rest only reminds me of my pain. The only thing I can think of is to never wake up, but I can't. I'm too scared.

I've gotten to the point where I have multiple dreams of death every night to the point where I wake up scared and confused that I actually killed myself. It's overwhelming.. The only time I've had good dreams in the last few months is when my partner has been over.

 

[Pancake]

I can so so much relate to that. I don't have these intense dreams or nightmares. But nights keeping me awake, waking up is a horror trip. And the feeling of having lost the best things and people in my life is overwhelming.

For how long do you already suffer your loss?

It's been a few months since I've lost them. But it's been years since I've made the worst decision of my life. It's slowly been eating away at me and that person exiting my life is tipping me over.

Also.. my dreams aren't too intense. They just feel tailored to make me cry.

If you start smoking weed you gonna stop dreaming.

I'm sorry, smoking is something I will not do.

 

[orca87]

It's been a few months since I've lost them. But it's been years since I've made the worst decision of my life. It's slowly been eating away at me and that person exiting my life is tipping me over.

Same for me. Give it time. A few month are nothing for grief and guilt. If you're lucky, it'll get better.
For me it gets worse every day and its a year now for me.
However, give it time!

Also.. my dreams aren't too intense. They just feel tailored to make me cry.

I'm sorry, smoking is something I will not do.