I've been thinking a bit.

[Jamesun]

Lately I feel horrible, I haven't been able to kill myself, I think I'm just a coward.I have tried to think about my childhood but all those memories are very confusing I remember almost nothing of it..

 

[The anhedonic one]

Lately I feel horrible, I haven't been able to kill myself, I think I'm just a coward.I have tried to think about my childhood but all those memories are very confusing I remember almost nothing of it..

I only remember fragments of my childhood.
And you are not a coward, for survival instinct is a serious beast to conquer.

 

[Jamesun]

I only remember fragments of my childhood.
And you are not a coward, for survival instinct is a serious beast to conquer.

I've tried to remember fragments from when I was a child, maybe that way I can better understand the suffering I'm experiencing but I don't remember much, I feel frustrated.

 

[MrDarkness]

Survival instinct is very hard to overcome, when your at your lowest you will no longer care, I personally take it as maybe it's not my time yet.. you may still planning on ctb same here, I'd just wait until your either at your lowest for SI not to kick in or for you to drunk or something up to you, I hope your able to find peace in life or death

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide really is so unnecessarily difficult so I don't think that someone is cowardly if they struggle to go through with it. I wish that suicide is easier, humans deserve the option to leave this dreadful existence in peace without complications, I understand that it's so awful and tiring feeling trapped here.

 

[90starve]

Lately I feel horrible, I haven't been able to kill myself, I think I'm just a coward.I have tried to think about my childhood but all those memories are very confusing I remember almost nothing of it..

i too am missing entire chunks of my memory - mostly from my childhood. it angers and frustrates me that i can't remember. i don't think you're a coward - i think that SI is very hard to overcome, and something that many of us have battled too. thinking of you <3

 

[Praestat_Mori]

SI is so difficult to defeat. When the time is right you will find the strength to overcome SI. I hope you can find peace, and you are certainly not a coward!!

 

[Dazai Disciple]

You are not a coward! It's very common for traumatic instances in childhood to be partially or fully forgotten. Some people can live fairly normal lives with having forgotten these memories and others are left to suffer with many questions. Wishing the best for you, whatever that looks like.