It's no secret that I want to ctb. I can't find my bus, I keep catching the wrong one. The man at the bus terminal promised me my exact bus that will take me home would be here at___! I couldn't hear the date and when I looked back he was gone.
Everyday I wait for my bus. I just lay in bed and cry and sleep my days away. I barely eat anymore, I has loss my will to live. Nothing is enjoyable anymore, no food, water, t.v. absolutely nothing.
I've become so angry, hateful, and nauseous. I can't rest anymore. I have to take more sleeping pills then I use to. My body have adjusted to all the pills I take just to sleep. I promise I'm not suicidal or active, I just want to sleep. I take about 20 pills a day just to sleep the day away.
I can't hide how I feel anymore. I only go out in public when I have to work or need food or medicine. When I do go out. I'm so weak and terrified I'll pass out. I'm tired of faking it at work, I can't hide it anymore. I wish my co-workers just leave me alone but I don't know how to tell them that! I missed a whole week of work saying I was sick, only to return with hugs. I can't stop crying at work, people just don't understand. I have to work later, I'll use last week's excuse and simply say, "I'm sick!" That should buy me some more time.
I'm in chronic pain and my whole body hurts, but nobody can see that so they don't understand when I say I'm in pain. I feel so overwhelmed and can't stop crying. I just want to vomit and go to bed. I'm so anxious, here comes the heart palpitations, I don't know what's real anymore. Maybe it's a heart attack this time, idk.
I feel like I'm suffocating and just need to vomit. I'm gonna take my 10 pills and that should allow me to sleep until I have to work.
I didn't check my spelling or grammar, so please forgive me. I just needed to vent, somewhere, somehow. I'm tired.
Has anyone seen my bus? I can't keep waiting.
Everyday I wait for my bus. I just lay in bed and cry and sleep my days away. I barely eat anymore, I has loss my will to live. Nothing is enjoyable anymore, no food, water, t.v. absolutely nothing.
I've become so angry, hateful, and nauseous. I can't rest anymore. I have to take more sleeping pills then I use to. My body have adjusted to all the pills I take just to sleep. I promise I'm not suicidal or active, I just want to sleep. I take about 20 pills a day just to sleep the day away.
I can't hide how I feel anymore. I only go out in public when I have to work or need food or medicine. When I do go out. I'm so weak and terrified I'll pass out. I'm tired of faking it at work, I can't hide it anymore. I wish my co-workers just leave me alone but I don't know how to tell them that! I missed a whole week of work saying I was sick, only to return with hugs. I can't stop crying at work, people just don't understand. I have to work later, I'll use last week's excuse and simply say, "I'm sick!" That should buy me some more time.
I'm in chronic pain and my whole body hurts, but nobody can see that so they don't understand when I say I'm in pain. I feel so overwhelmed and can't stop crying. I just want to vomit and go to bed. I'm so anxious, here comes the heart palpitations, I don't know what's real anymore. Maybe it's a heart attack this time, idk.
I feel like I'm suffocating and just need to vomit. I'm gonna take my 10 pills and that should allow me to sleep until I have to work.
I didn't check my spelling or grammar, so please forgive me. I just needed to vent, somewhere, somehow. I'm tired.
Has anyone seen my bus? I can't keep waiting.
