It's so fucking unfair that no matter how hard it is for you to deal with depression or other various mental health problems, most people expect you to eventually learn to be "self-reliant" because it's the healthiest thing to do and it's not good to be too dependent on other people. It's so fucking unfair. And to top it off, that's not just it, you're expected to perform at the same standards as everyone else does. Sure, there might be *some* leeway, but not very much. And then people have the gall to tell you that you shouldn't take your own life, because everybody's life has value. I think that's bullshit, it's nice, but people don't actually believe it.
It seems to me that people fall into two categories broadly speaking, they'll say you just need to learn to love yourself, and do the things you want to do, find what makes you happy. Then on the other hand, there's people who say that if you don't love yourself, you need to look at yourself and see if you really are someone worth loving, and if you think you're not, you need to change yourself to be someone you think is. But that's so fucking hard, why do I have to do that? People with many physical disabilities often need someone to take care of them pretty much all the time, and it is true that people also view them as a burden or lesser, but it's not viewed as their fault. If you have mental health problems and it seems like you aren't trying hard enough, people will blame you, tell you you need to take accountability and that things won't get better if you aren't willing to try. What if you're sick and tired of trying? what if almost nothing makes it seem worth it? What incredibly self-help advice do people have for people like that? Are we actually deserving of death if we can't change? If that's the case, why the fuck would you be so vehemently against people killing themselves?
I just want to be recognized for how fucking exhausting just every single little thing is for me, and for people who are as depressed/mentally unwell as me, and be told that it's okay, I'm still worth something, but it feels like that will never truly be true. I'm lucky enough to have some acceptance with my parents and some of my friends with my repeated failures and just lack of a desire to try, I probably would have had way more suicide attempts than I already do if that wasn't the case, but it still doesn't feel like enough and it doesn't erase the pressure that gets placed on you by society and also by just existing and having to perform basic human functions. I don't know, I'm probably just whiny and weak, but it's too exhausting to be strong and I can't bring myself to bother.
It seems to me that people fall into two categories broadly speaking, they'll say you just need to learn to love yourself, and do the things you want to do, find what makes you happy. Then on the other hand, there's people who say that if you don't love yourself, you need to look at yourself and see if you really are someone worth loving, and if you think you're not, you need to change yourself to be someone you think is. But that's so fucking hard, why do I have to do that? People with many physical disabilities often need someone to take care of them pretty much all the time, and it is true that people also view them as a burden or lesser, but it's not viewed as their fault. If you have mental health problems and it seems like you aren't trying hard enough, people will blame you, tell you you need to take accountability and that things won't get better if you aren't willing to try. What if you're sick and tired of trying? what if almost nothing makes it seem worth it? What incredibly self-help advice do people have for people like that? Are we actually deserving of death if we can't change? If that's the case, why the fuck would you be so vehemently against people killing themselves?
I just want to be recognized for how fucking exhausting just every single little thing is for me, and for people who are as depressed/mentally unwell as me, and be told that it's okay, I'm still worth something, but it feels like that will never truly be true. I'm lucky enough to have some acceptance with my parents and some of my friends with my repeated failures and just lack of a desire to try, I probably would have had way more suicide attempts than I already do if that wasn't the case, but it still doesn't feel like enough and it doesn't erase the pressure that gets placed on you by society and also by just existing and having to perform basic human functions. I don't know, I'm probably just whiny and weak, but it's too exhausting to be strong and I can't bring myself to bother.
