Venting it’s so hard to wait

[hotelandrea]

i still have 11 days until i can attempt and it's torture. it's so hard to restrain myself in the meantime, because i know if i act on impulse, i have less of a chance at success (ie: being interrupted).

i suppose i could get a hotel this thursday night, but i initially chose the 14th (valentine's day) so i could tell my roommates that i'm going to be out on a date so there would be no reason for them to be checking in. i worry that using the same excuse for a random weekday would raise suspicions, but at the same time, i just want to be done with this life.

i would attempt in the apartment while everyone is asleep, but i live with my ex and i wanted my "final act of love" to be making sure that he didn't have to be the one to find me. and since im doing a partial hanging, i won't be a pretty sight.

maybe drinking and SH can hold me over until then, but i don't know. 11 days is a long time to keep suffering.

idk, am i over thinking it? would it really be that out of the ordinary to "go on a date" on a thursday night?

 

[eyesofadingo]

I'd say you ought to wait it through, it's the best thing to do and you can think about it more thouroughly. In the end it's your choice, I wish you well with whatever you decide to do

 

[dewdfish]

I feel you on this one. I'm ending it on the 20th and I just cannot wait anymore. This is eating me alive.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand finding it so torturous to exist, I hope you find freedom from suffering.