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fkyou

fkyou

...
Oct 1, 2022
416
It's sad seeing the things you once liked knowing you're leaving them behind forever and for the last time..I can't explain it with words how it makes me feel..I think this is the hard part of suicide..I think that's why I have to do it by force and without thinking a single "this is the reason why it's good to do it" no amount of rationalisation about how it's the best decision is going to convince my brain.. although it's hard to do something painful without strong reasoning and desire behind it but I think it's possible I've stayed too much enough talking I feel late I should do it without question
 
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boyafraid

boyafraid

Walking Paradox
Oct 27, 2025
7
I relate to this a lot here. I get the same feeling sometimes when making plans for suicide. The very few things I enjoy doing, and the "what if it gets better?" possibility is what makes it so difficult sometimes. Most times, I just do my best to shut those thoughts off because suicide feels like it's the only path I can take. There's people who are meant to be doctors, firefighters, and lawyers etc.. in my case, Suicide feels like it's just what I'm meant to do. I like the Naruto pfp btw (:
 
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WhatCouldHaveBeen32

(O__O)==>(X__X)
Oct 12, 2024
832
Is it bad that I'm past that? the only reason I'm not doing it is because of like 1/2 people at best, would they be gone from my life tomorrow, I'd just do it right now lol.
The only things I can't leave behind are those that will be affected by it because I'm unfortunately not a bad person, I wish I was. Sometimes I fantasize about just going and pushing them away, lying, insulting them, doing anything, just to get them off me. But I can't keep this for much longer, it's also my right to die.
 
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fkyou

fkyou

...
Oct 1, 2022
416
Is it bad that I'm past that? the only reason I'm not doing it is because of like 1/2 people at best, would they be gone from my life tomorrow, I'd just do it right now lol.
The only things I can't leave behind are those that will be affected by it because I'm unfortunately not a bad person, I wish I was. Sometimes I fantasize about just going and pushing them away, lying, insulting them, doing anything, just to get them off me. But I can't keep this for much longer, it's also my right to die.
Wish I was as calm wise as you unfortunately I'm a very impressionable person
 
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WhatCouldHaveBeen32

(O__O)==>(X__X)
Oct 12, 2024
832
Wish I was as calm wise as you unfortunately I'm a very impressionable person
There are many games and sequels that could drop tomorrow (and that have dropped in the last years) that would've been extremely hype for my teen self over half a decade ago, right now, I don't even care anymore, I feel nothing which is not ideal either.
 
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fkyou

fkyou

...
Oct 1, 2022
416
There are many games and sequels that could drop tomorrow (and that have dropped in the last years) that would've been extremely hype for my teen self over half a decade ago, right now, I don't even care anymore, I feel nothing which is not ideal either.
I wish you well ❤️‍🩹 🥺
 
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