Venting Its official, the spinning is not in my head. And I am VERY fucked.

[BridgeJumper]

Ive been to the doctor today.
Violently sick throughout the visit.
She was very nice, asked me how long is this going on for, do I have tinnitus and how does it sound like. My vitals were 149 per 98 bp, pulse 134
Said she doesnt know about ears but the movement in my eyes is very worrying and that its not standard vertigo, and that I need to go to ER.
That theres something really wrong with my brain and that I need to be examined under anesthesia, and that it will cost 400 euro. Explained to me how to get coverage and prescribed something to suppres the spinnning. Its a different med than I was taking in Poland cause they dont sell it here. Something specifically for inner ear disorders.

I want to breakdown but Im too numb. Im scared stiff.

Whats the diagnosis? What do they predict? The worst? My grandma died of 4th stage cancer and they didnt tellhey didnt tell her either...
Im only 26! Before this started I was planning to recover!

I wonder if I broke the news to my family would they treat me well? Would they cut me some slack? There is a taboo about treating people badly when you know its seriious?
I wont tell them anyway, theyll be convinced its in my head till the very end. Dont want these cunts to intervene now.

I TOLD THEM I WAS ILL! AND NO, ITS NOT MENTAL ILLNESS!





!@#$%^&*()>><!! !

 

[justsad&done]

I am so sorry. Seriously wish I could do something to help you. Sending you hugs and prayers.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Im only 26!!!!
i wanted to start an actual normal life!!!!!!!!

My God, why!?
I mean I dont know the diagnosis yet, maybe Im overreacting, but WHY?
T.T

 

[rs929]

Maybe something like this? https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306987718301324

 

[justsad&done]

Did she say there's something wrong with your brain? Are they doing a brain MRI?

 

[DrWh033]

Yes you are overreacting. Did you get a brain or temporal MRI? IF yes you have the right to read the report. If not, then you should get one. Nystagmus can be of multiple causes. Most of them are benign. Yes you are overreacting. What kind of examination do they want to perform under anesthesia?

 

[BridgeJumper]

MRI because Im throwing up every few minutes and screaming in pain at every sound so its obviously impossible to do it with me cnoscious....
I dont know.
I dont think its a bening issue.
I cant stand upright without somebody supporting me, I vomit all day to the point of soiling myself all over. Doesnt sound beningn.....im criyng...

 

[Isadeth]

Take it one step at a time, hun. At least they have a course of action and a medication that might help until you can have further testing. Did you pick up your script yet? Maybe it can help until you're able to get the testing she's suggesting?

I wouldn't give up just yet until you see what the tests read. I'm glad she's taking you seriously and didn't write you off and actually found something concerning. She could have been one of those "you're fine, it's all in your head" people.

I hope it goes well! Figuring out medical ailments and treatments/cures is horrible.

 

[justsad&done]

I realize that it is nearly impossible but try not to think the worst and don't just start googling because you'll just put more thoughts in your head. When is the MRI?

 

[BridgeJumper]

Clearrly not soon because I need 400 euro and im flat broke.

 

[Isadeth]

Clearrly not soon because I need 400 euro and im flat broke.

Look into organizations that can help cover costs. I'm glad it's not an obscene amount.

 

[justsad&done]

And your family can't or won't help with medical expenses?

 

[BridgeJumper]

I cut them out of my life because they kept telling me its in my head and mocking me. And I moved to another country to grt help.

 

[lost_soul83]

I don't think anyone has the right to tell this poor person they're overreacting. You have no idea what this person is going through. Support, not judgement.
I am so very sorry for what you're going through, much love, prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.

 

[justsad&done]

I cut them out of my life because they kept telling me its in my head and mocking me. And I moved to another country to grt help.

I don't know what country you are in, but in the US there are charitable organizations that help cover medical bills/expenses. Do you know of any in your country?

 

[BridgeJumper]

Im screaming in pain at every soundeverything is whirling, my gf told me she saw me have seizures the apartment is completely wrecked soiled in my vomit Im covered in bruises...
They said something about applying for coverage for foreighners...I dont know..I can barely stand..
I should have jumped off the bridge 2 weeks ago...

 

[justsad&done]

Can you go to the Emergency Room at the hospital?

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Is there a way the hospital will do the MRI and use a hardship fund to shoulder the debt? It is an emergency and they shouldn't be able to turn you away because you can't pay.

 

[Leiden]

I'm so sorry to that you are going through this. I hope things get better for you soon.

Not sure where you are but if you are in the US you can go straight to the ER and when they see what's happening thy will give you an MRI stat, I'm sure. You don't have to pay anything off the bat and will be billed at a later time and at that time you can apply for charity care to cover the MRI and hospital bill. No ER can turn you away. This sounds like it needs attention now and for you to go to the ER and get it checked by someone other than a primary care Physician.

Also, maybe put in earplugs or some cotton into your ears so you won't hear the sounds if they are hurting you.

 

[justpeachy]

MRI because Im throwing up every few minutes and screaming in pain at every sound so its obviously impossible to do it with me cnoscious....
I dont know.
I dont think its a bening issue.
I cant stand upright without somebody supporting me, I vomit all day to the point of soiling myself all over. Doesnt sound beningn.....im criyng...

I think you need to take it one day at a time and try to calm down. You are kind of over reacting given you have no diagnosis. What exactly would you tell your family? You haven't had the MRI, correct? So you really can't state if it's truly serious or not yet. No reputable MD or GP will tell you that it's very serious without a proper diagnosis or at the very least without the results of your MRI or a CT read by a proper radiologist. Getting yourself worked up like this isn't going to help you at all, in fact the anxiety is likely to make you feel worse and your situation escalate. Try some deep breathing, take some anxiety medications if you have some, and do something you enjoy. Look up square breathing on You Tube. It is very helpful to use when you are panicking. I recommend it to many of my patients. I wouldn't tell family anything as of yet as it seems you aren't very close with them. If you want you tell someone something I would just keep it minimal and state the facts. That you have been ill and saw a GP and they felt it was important for you to get a MRI due to some unexplained eye movements that are not typically associated with vertigo. Eye movements can be many many many things from very serious to completely benign. Until you have results from a MRI there is literally no point in working yourself up in a state like this. I hope you don't take this as cruel or harsh, I just am trying to bluntly get it through to you that there is no reason to make things worse for yourself with undue stress and panic. Good luck & keep everyone updated. When is your MRI? Did you go to the ED? If so, they may do one today depending on if they feel it's an emergency issue or not. Sometimes they will just refer you outpatient (yes, even if a GP sends you to get one) as the GP doesn't have any privileges in the ED, it will be entirely up to the ED staff to determine if it's an emergent issue or not.

 

[BridgeJumper]

I'm so sorry to that you are going through this. I hope things get better for you soon.

Not sure where you are but if you are in the US you can go straight to the ER and when they see what's happening thy will give you an MRI stat, I'm sure. You don't have to pay anything off the bat and will be billed at a later time and at that time you can apply for charity care to cover the MRI and hospital bill. No ER can turn you away. This sounds like it needs attention now and for you to go to the ER and get it checked by someone other than a primary care Physician.

Also, maybe put in earplugs or some cotton into your ears so you won't hear the sounds if they are hurting you.

I have ear plugs, I even have noise cancels, they dont work anymore, it keepsgetting worse bythe day. Im starting to think about total cancelling, headphones that permint 0 sound. Im in France now. Paris. Ill wait till I quit vomiting and Ill ask my gfDear God. Not interjection,unironically

I think you need to take it one day at a time and try to calm down. You are kind of over reacting given you have no diagnosis. What exactly would you tell your family? You haven't had the MRI, correct? So you really can't state if it's truly serious or not yet. No reputable MD or GP will tell you that it's very serious without a proper diagnosis or at the very least without the results of your MRI or a CT read by a proper radiologist. Getting yourself worked up like this isn't going to help you at all, in fact the anxiety is likely to make you feel worse and your situation escalate. Try some deep breathing, take some anxiety medications if you have some, and do something you enjoy. Look up square breathing on You Tube. It is very helpful to use when you are panicking. I recommend it to many of my patients. I wouldn't tell family anything as of yet as it seems you aren't very close with them. If you want you tell someone something I would just keep it minimal and state the facts. That you have been ill and saw a GP and they felt it was important for you to get a MRI due to some unexplained eye movements that are not typically associated with vertigo. Eye movements can be many many many things from very serious to completely benign. Until you have results from a MRI there is literally no point in working yourself up in a state like this. I hope you don't take this as cruel or harsh, I just am trying to bluntly get it through to you that there is no reason to make things worse for yourself with undue stress and panic. Good luck & keep everyone updated. When is your MRI? Did you go to the ED? If so, they may do one today depending on if they feel it's an emergency issue or not. Sometimes they will just refer you outpatient (yes, even if a GP sends you to get one) as the GP doesn't have any privileges in the ED, it will be entirely up to the ED staff to determine if it's an emergent issue or not.

Well im not a doctor but isnt vomiting everything for days straight and not being able to walk kind of serious? And no I wont tell my family, I flew toFrance to get help cause they mock me and say im malingering. Ibe beendealing with the spinning for 11 months ans Im slowly loosingvmy mind, hallucinating from being unable yo sleep. I mean youre kinda right but i dont know

 

[painoflife]

I am glad they are taking it seriously and I hope that you can get the further tests done soon.
Please go easy on yourself, you can't help how your body is reacting to this. Getting stressed about that won't help right now.

 

[lost_soul83]

Exactly. I don't know about your country, but here in the US, if you go to the ER, they have to treat you regardless of your ability to pay for it.

 

[DrWh033]

Go to the ER and describe your symptoms. They are OBLIGED to make a CT scan on you. Yes I am a doctor. Yes I am a radiologist. A CT will show the most evident pathologies in the brain. Lets take the worst scenario which is a tumor or metastasis causing brain edema.
Do it.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Yes. But tommorrow...I cant take anymore. Thank youfor help

 

[Weary Soul]

I have had MRIs before and after my head injuries.

Before my head injuries, they were not so bad. No matter what body part was being imaged, I was put in this tiny tube and told to hold absolutely still. The sound of the magnets that surrounded me was unlike anything I have ever experienced - even with those little foam ear plugs. And the MRI took a very long time.

After my head injuries, I became terrified because I have titanium screws and wires holding my skull together. Even though I KNOW that titanium is inert and will not cause my head to explode because of the magnets in MRIs, I am still terrified of this mode of imaging.

Now there are open MRIs (instead of little tubes); however, one must still hold completely still to get an accurate reading, and, although I have not had one, I imagine the sound is the same.

Given your symptoms, I highly doubt that you could hold still long enough to get an accurate image let alone tolerate the sounds.

I can completely understand your worries on what you might endure at being subjected to an MRI; however, I do not think this should stop you - if they do prescribe an MRI for you, I would demand strong anesthesia so that you can sleep through it.

A CT scan, which is much easier to endure IMO, may show some anomalies; however, IME it does not give nearly as thorough a picture of the brain when compared with an MRI (particularly when an MRI is done prior to and after administration of contrast dye - but please note, I am not an expert and am only speaking from experience).

I do think that anxiety can exacerbate pain and symptoms; however, IME trying to turn anxiety off without strong pharmaceutical aid is nearly impossible. Maybe some can do this - but I was never able to. Coupled with the fact that you are vomiting so frequently I am concerned that you could not hold an oral anxiolytic down - if you do have a benzo, maybe try a sublingual route?

I am so sorry you had to go so far to seek help, but am hopeful that you may finally get answers and treatment that will help you.

<3

 

[Ghost2211]

I think you should just go to the ER and worry about the bill later. Don't they have to take you if you go in through emergency? That's how it works in the US.

 

[Leiden]

Yes. But tommorrow...I cant take anymore. Thank youfor help

Yes, make sure that you do and don't wait any longer than tomorrow. Will be thinking of you and sending love and healing thoughts your way. Take it as easy as you can

 

[BridgeJumper]

I have had MRIs before and after my head injuries.

Before my head injuries, they were not so bad. No matter what body part was being imaged, I was put in this tiny tube and told to hold absolutely still. The sound of the magnets that surrounded me was unlike anything I have ever experienced - even with those little foam ear plugs. And the MRI took a very long time.

After my head injuries, I became terrified because I have titanium screws and wires holding my skull together. Even though I KNOW that titanium is inert and will not cause my head to explode because of the magnets in MRIs, I am still terrified of this mode of imaging.

Now there are open MRIs (instead of little tubes); however, one must still hold completely still to get an accurate reading, and, although I have not had one, I imagine the sound is the same.

Given your symptoms, I highly doubt that you could hold still long enough to get an accurate image let alone tolerate the sounds.

I can completely understand your worries on what you might endure at being subjected to an MRI; however, I do not think this should stop you - if they do prescribe an MRI for you, I would demand strong anesthesia so that you can sleep through it.

A CT scan, which is much easier to endure IMO, may show some anomalies; however, IME it does not give nearly as thorough a picture of the brain when compared with an MRI (particularly when an MRI is done prior to and after administration of contrast dye - but please note, I am not an expert and am only speaking from experience).

I do think that anxiety can exacerbate pain and symptoms; however, IME trying to turn anxiety off without strong pharmaceutical aid is nearly impossible. Maybe some can do this - but I was never able to. Coupled with the fact that you are vomiting so frequently I am concerned that you could not hold an oral anxiolytic down - if you do have a benzo, maybe try a sublingual route?

I am so sorry you had to go so far to seek help, but am hopeful that you may finally get answers and treatment that will help you.

<3

EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO KNOW, AMAZING. THANKS.

 

[Leiden]

Why are people telling him he is overreacting. Who wants to hear that when they are obviously going through something awful. Just like his family saying it's all in his head, saying he is overreacting is no better.