Venting Its not looking so great.

[XxEstenxX]

I'm pushing my friend away. I keep hurting her and upsetting her and the guilt is eating me alive. I dont want to hurt her again. I have bpd so I will, I always will. She's trying her hardest but I think pretty soon shes just gonna give up on me too. I dont blame her if she does. Once she leaves thats it. I'm already preparing myself for the inevitable abandonment and my death. I've been crying all day and all night. Why am I like this? Why do I ruin everything good that happens to me?

I'm tired. I've had enough. I cant keep going on like this, this miserable cycle of finding hope and then ruining it. It ends this year.

 

[Chito and Yuuri]

You can do it bro, just make things up to her and you all should be good together at the end of the day, I'm counting on you. I'm telling you, you can do it bro.

 

[XxEstenxX]

You can do it bro, just make things up to her and you all should be good together at the end of the day, I'm counting on you. I'm telling you, you can do it bro.

I'm trying man, but I gotta get outta this shitty depressive episode Im in first and I don't know when that'll happen. I appreciate the support though.

 

[Chito and Yuuri]

I'm trying man, but I gotta get outta this shitty depressive episode Im in first and I don't know when that'll happen. I appreciate the support though.

Thanks man. Are there any hobbies you have that interest you a ton? If so, hang onto that. Also, I have another idea, and I don't mean to be insensitive at all, but try getting into anime. I'm saying this because anime has many different wonderful shows to watch, and you could get so interested in them that you end up getting out of your depressive episode by chance.

Use this site to watch free anime shows, it's very great. Again, I don't mean to be insensitive at all, I'm just saying this to try and give you an interest so that you could get out of your depressive episode.

https://animekai.to/home