Its not depression; its the realization of what this world really is

[LookMomImFlying]

I remember when I was a kid, all I wanted to be was a cop. Why? Because I wanted to be a superhero; the guy who shows up and saves people from criminals, locks up people who manipulate others, and am beloved because of my good deeds. But as I got older, I quickly realized that cops are the bad guys protecting the "badder" guys; and are beloved by blood-thirsty people who enjoy torturing others. That they are essentially packs of hyenas that kill people for money and get away with it.

So after that dream was crushed, I tried to figure out another way to be a hero. Perhaps a lawyer. But I quickly discovered that if I wanted to defend people against malicious charges, I also had to, by law, defend murders and rapists against my will since public defenders are assigned cases; and that those are the big money cases. I also began to notice how so many people in the USA seem to get sexual gratification from others people being murdered and tortured by cops and military; that so many turn a blind eye to the mass evil and genocide going on in this world. Long story short, I ended up with a computer programming job, sitting in front of a computers for 10 hours per day and hate[d] it.

I once called a suicide hotline years ago because I thought that's what I should do when I'm feeling down and there are genuinely people there to help. But all they did was call cops and lock me up in a jail for two weeks until I acted like I was accepting of this human programming. There is nothing pure, good, and beautiful in this world anymore. Even the beauty of nature has been destroyed by humanity. I want nothing to do with this world. Its disgusting, foul, and just so demented in every way.

When one person (e.g. a "billionaire") has the ability to feed and house every human being on this planet, but instead forces them to slave 50 hours per week for crumbs, that just tell you the evil of this world. When the cost of one military plane could feed every homeless person in the USA for a year, but the USA chooses the plane, shows you what this world is.

I just paid July rent and am now broke. I quit my job seven weeks ago. I will run out of food soon and won't be able to pay rent in August anyway. My path is clear now. I'm jumping sometime in July when I'm too hungry to go on. Gosh this world is so awful!!

 

[Deleted member 847]

I remember when I was a kid, all I wanted to be was a cop. Why? Because I wanted to be a superhero; the guy who shows up and saves people from criminals, locks up people who manipulate others, and am beloved because of my good deeds. But as I got older, I quickly realized that cops are the bad guys protecting the "badder" guys; and are beloved by blood-thirsty people who enjoy torturing others. That they are essentially packs of hyenas that kill people for money and get away with it.

So after that dream was crushed, I tried to figure out another way to be a hero. Perhaps a lawyer. But I quickly discovered that if I wanted to defend people against malicious charges, I also had to, by law, defend murders and rapists against my will since public defenders are assigned cases; and that those are the big money cases. I also began to notice how so many people in the USA seem to get sexual gratification from others people being murdered and tortured by cops and military; that so many turn a blind eye to the mass evil and genocide going on in this world. Long story short, I ended up with a computer programming job, sitting in front of a computers for 10 hours per day and hate[d] it.

I once called a suicide hotline years ago because I thought that's what I should do when I'm feeling down and there are genuinely people there to help. But all they did was call cops and lock me up in a jail for two weeks until I acted like I was accepting of this human programming. There is nothing pure, good, and beautiful in this world anymore. Even the beauty of nature has been destroyed by humanity. I want nothing to do with this world. Its disgusting, foul, and just so demented in every way.

When one person (e.g. a "billionaire") has the ability to feed and house every human being on this planet, but instead forces them to slave 50 hours per week for crumbs, that just tell you the evil of this world. When the cost of one military plane could feed every homeless person in the USA for a year, but the USA chooses the plane, shows you what this world is.

I just paid July rent and am now broke. I quit my job seven weeks ago. I will run out of food soon and won't be able to pay rent in August anyway. My path is clear now. I'm jumping sometime in July when I'm too hungry to go on. Gosh this world is so awful!!

Yes human beings are profit-striving machines, and nobody really does care about anybody, we just fake smile/follow social rules etc. to keep alive this consensus reality/status quo (survival strategy), otherwise we would kill each other like animals. That's why you shouldn't trust suicide hotlines. These are human beings talking to you. If it benefits them to call the police on you instead of respecting your feelings they will do it. Why should they give a crap about you, they need to respect orders to get their bread.

 

[Strumgewehr]

Same here. I don't even want to fix myself because I cannot behold this sadistic play, let alone take part in it.