It’s kind of unfair

[Water-Lily]

I had a full day yesterday

First went out to eat with a friend, met up with other friends, then went to a party with a new guy I've been talking to

The day was alright for the most part. But I've been reflecting on something that leaves me suicidal

The guy I spent the night out with opened up about how his mom passed away. Tho, from how he describes her, she was a loving mother figure

Sadly, as for what most of you know by now, my grief is different due to the narcissistic abuse that fucked up life

Hell, in some ways I wish my father was the abuser. Cause society pays more attention to abusive fathers than abusive mothers

But the reality is, especially when the abuse is severe, no one understands or cares

I'm alone. I don't think I'll be seeing him anymore

 

[INTJme]

I'm so confused... you don't want to see him anymore because you're jealous he had a great relationship with his mom? Is that what I'm hearing? Or is it because his mom wasn't narcissistic so there's no possibility of trauma bonding with him? Or am I missing something?

I'm really sorry for being insensitive here but it just feels like you're looking for a reason to feel miserable.

 

[Water-Lily]

I'm so confused... you don't want to see him anymore because you're jealous he had a great relationship with his mom? Is that what I'm hearing? Or is it because his mom wasn't narcissistic so there's no possibility of trauma bonding with him? Or am I missing something?

I'm really sorry for being insensitive here but it just feels like you're looking for a reason to feel miserable.

Hey! It's hard to say. I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed with trauma stuff/triggers so I'm a bit disorganized mentally. And magnifying stuff as I usually do
I had a conversation with a friend who's sort of in the same boat with me. We both struggle with vulnerability due to fears/trauma

 

[INTJme]

Hey! It's hard to say. I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed with trauma stuff/triggers so I'm a bit disorganized mentally. And magnifying stuff as I usually do
I had a conversation with a friend who's sort of in the same boat with me. We both struggle with vulnerability due to fears/trauma

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Have you seen a therapist in this regard? This seems right up their alley as long as you can find a good therapist ofc. And while talking to friends and sharing with them your troubles is good, talking to someone who's in the same boat will only validate and deepen your irrational fears. I'd suggest both of you to see a therapist soon.

 

[AllMyDreams]

I had a full day yesterday

First went out to eat with a friend, met up with other friends, then went to a party with a new guy I've been talking to

The day was alright for the most part. But I've been reflecting on something that leaves me suicidal

The guy I spent the night out with opened up about how his mom passed away. Tho, from how he describes her, she was a loving mother figure

Sadly, as for what most of you know by now, my grief is different due to the narcissistic abuse that fucked up life

Hell, in some ways I wish my father was the abuser. Cause society pays more attention to abusive fathers than abusive mothers

But the reality is, especially when the abuse is severe, no one understands or cares

I'm alone. I don't think I'll be seeing him anymore

I'm really sorry about your experience. It's only natural to be resentful and angry that others didn't have to undergo the abuse you did.

But if you cut out everyone who has some circumstance better than you, you won't have anyone. That's life. Some people have things that you don't, and you have many things other people don't!

 

[Water-Lily]

I'm really sorry about your experience. It's only natural to be resentful and angry that others didn't have to undergo the abuse you did.

But if you cut out everyone who has some circumstance better than you, you won't have anyone. That's life. Some people have things that you don't, and you have many things other people don't!

That is true. Life is funny in that way. You miss out on some and gain in others I guess

I remember reading somewhere that abuse survivors can only be friends with other abuse survivors

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Have you seen a therapist in this regard? This seems right up their alley as long as you can find a good therapist ofc. And while talking to friends and sharing with them your troubles is good, talking to someone who's in the same boat will only validate and deepen your irrational fears. I'd suggest both of you to see a therapist soon.

I do have my own therapist
As for my friend, she doesn't have a therapist due to past trauma with therapists

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I had a full day yesterday

First went out to eat with a friend, met up with other friends, then went to a party with a new guy I've been talking to

The day was alright for the most part. But I've been reflecting on something that leaves me suicidal

The guy I spent the night out with opened up about how his mom passed away. Tho, from how he describes her, she was a loving mother figure

Sadly, as for what most of you know by now, my grief is different due to the narcissistic abuse that fucked up life

Hell, in some ways I wish my father was the abuser. Cause society pays more attention to abusive fathers than abusive mothers

But the reality is, especially when the abuse is severe, no one understands or cares

I'm alone. I don't think I'll be seeing him anymore

I think I understand not wantin to see him. When you've been through severe abuse people who weren't abused feel distant, like they're in some lalala happy world and have the luxury of being ignorant about how privileged they are and how their happiness is due to luck, not their inherent worth. So maybe it's bitterness and alienation due to having vastly different life experiences that makes others hard to relate to and even boring or not compelling, unlike fellow abuse survivors