Antigonish
Mage
- Sep 19, 2020
- 593
Don't know why, and there really isn't anything to blame. But my emotional levels are becoming uncontrollable again. The constant up and down is just shit. From happy, to angry, to hypersexual, but most of all it's the emptiness I can't stand. I can just feel the depression creeping back. And oddly enough the only thing that makes me the slightest bit okay, is being around depressing things. Hearing that I'm not some weird alien, and knowing that others are feeling the same. It becomes hazardous to do anything, when I want to do is be alone. In a room, very dark room, with the blinds closed and no television.
Idk. I guess it's pretty hard to put in words. I think I just needed to talk to someone about it or try to explain it. But its suffocating, and what I hate most is that it goes away. Sometimes for a few months, sometimes for about a year. But it always comes back, and it's usually when I'm starting to feel optimistic about things.
I'm thinking maybe it's my job, maybe I should quit. Or maybe it's the place I live, maybe I should move. Maybe it's just me, maybe I should just die. Because if it's me, I cant run away from myself, right?
Idk, if you've ever felt like this, what do you do to kill the emptiness. The void or boredom.
Idk. I guess it's pretty hard to put in words. I think I just needed to talk to someone about it or try to explain it. But its suffocating, and what I hate most is that it goes away. Sometimes for a few months, sometimes for about a year. But it always comes back, and it's usually when I'm starting to feel optimistic about things.
I'm thinking maybe it's my job, maybe I should quit. Or maybe it's the place I live, maybe I should move. Maybe it's just me, maybe I should just die. Because if it's me, I cant run away from myself, right?
Idk, if you've ever felt like this, what do you do to kill the emptiness. The void or boredom.