ghostspace
ghost space, ghosts pace
- Feb 10, 2020
- 410
guys, I'm so tired. I have to wait at least until mid-November to CTB due to some obligations I have for others, but each day has been slower and slower and I have never felt so lonely, lost, or afraid.
I actually talked to my dad about wanting assisted suicide so that it would be easier for my family and he basically said it's whatever and talked about all his problems lol.
I'm truly ready. I'll never stop feeling afraid of dying but it's only a bus ride to a better, more peaceful place. it's a state of transition and transitions can sometimes be scary and uncomfortable, but they aren't that way forever.
I wish more then anything that I could have my family's support, I don't want to be alone when I go and I wish I could be honest with them the way a terminally ill person can be. it's not what's best for them in this situation. my death will be quiet and lonely but my life is already that way, so there's nothing to be afraid of.
anyways, when it's time I know I'll have all of you by my side as I ride off into the dark.
I haven't had the energy to message or post much, I sincerely apologize, I've not been well and haven't been able to find the energy for much outside of basic self-care. I hope you understand.
I won't be going anywhere without updating on here again ♡
I love you, SS, thanks to the knowledge of this site and the support of this community, I'll be home soon.
I actually talked to my dad about wanting assisted suicide so that it would be easier for my family and he basically said it's whatever and talked about all his problems lol.
I'm truly ready. I'll never stop feeling afraid of dying but it's only a bus ride to a better, more peaceful place. it's a state of transition and transitions can sometimes be scary and uncomfortable, but they aren't that way forever.
I wish more then anything that I could have my family's support, I don't want to be alone when I go and I wish I could be honest with them the way a terminally ill person can be. it's not what's best for them in this situation. my death will be quiet and lonely but my life is already that way, so there's nothing to be afraid of.
anyways, when it's time I know I'll have all of you by my side as I ride off into the dark.
I haven't had the energy to message or post much, I sincerely apologize, I've not been well and haven't been able to find the energy for much outside of basic self-care. I hope you understand.
I won't be going anywhere without updating on here again ♡
I love you, SS, thanks to the knowledge of this site and the support of this community, I'll be home soon.