Still Flutter Girl
An alphabet soup of pain, pain, and more pain
- Jun 13, 2022
- 26
Genuinely tried my best, and have only gotten sicker and sicker. Aside from my dog, I'm more isolated than a solitary confinement inmate. This has been years of pain and isolation. I'm ready to go.
Putting a few steps in place for my dog to be found without breaking the door down, and to do this away from home so my sib can hopefully get at least SOME money out of this house, despite its conditions…dying here AND not being found for a while would just be over the top, and make it a burden instead of a final gift, to try to give her more distance from our abusive mother.
My biggest practical concern is, and always has been, the quality of my SN. It's SD brand from the jungle, pre-shutdown. About 2 years old, never opened. Need to run tests, but every task is SO hard with my conditions.
Do people know the brand I mean (please don't name), and if it's been effective for anyone? It's my biggest concern. I unfortunately don't have a backup. I don't have the support for VSED, or the terminal status to go to VT for MAID. Perhaps finding easy access to the sea, but hoping that's not the case.
Side note, if any fellow chronically ill, neurodivergent, and/or queer people want to send hugs, it would be appreciated. It's been a hard life being a constant outsider, in constant pain. My physical state has just gotten beyond tolerable, and I'd love a break from the isolation, and to feel seen. Especially from other people that "get it."
Putting a few steps in place for my dog to be found without breaking the door down, and to do this away from home so my sib can hopefully get at least SOME money out of this house, despite its conditions…dying here AND not being found for a while would just be over the top, and make it a burden instead of a final gift, to try to give her more distance from our abusive mother.
My biggest practical concern is, and always has been, the quality of my SN. It's SD brand from the jungle, pre-shutdown. About 2 years old, never opened. Need to run tests, but every task is SO hard with my conditions.
Do people know the brand I mean (please don't name), and if it's been effective for anyone? It's my biggest concern. I unfortunately don't have a backup. I don't have the support for VSED, or the terminal status to go to VT for MAID. Perhaps finding easy access to the sea, but hoping that's not the case.
Side note, if any fellow chronically ill, neurodivergent, and/or queer people want to send hugs, it would be appreciated. It's been a hard life being a constant outsider, in constant pain. My physical state has just gotten beyond tolerable, and I'd love a break from the isolation, and to feel seen. Especially from other people that "get it."
