Venting It’s a punishment being an ugly girl

[eatantz]

One of the cruelest punishments: being born an ugly girl.

Life is colourless when you're forced to be alone. I'm surrounded by people but I feel disconnected from my body, I'm watching myself from the distance. I've been so hurt by people that my perception of myself and living is shattered forever.

4 years of therapy and not a single change in my pessimistic outlook on life and my self image. I don't even know what I'm complaining about anymore it's all blurry. I fell inlove with a fallacy and it's been messing with my head.

My heart races when I picture my suicide I no longer feel excited more disappointment and void, like it won't fulfil anything. I keep begging for a change something to fix me but time keeps moving closer to my deadline, a lot can happen in a year.

I was originally going to vent about my appearance and blah blah but I'm fed up of lying to make myself feel better. I always blame my issues with people on the way I look but the fact is I'm not ugly, many people consider me pretty() but I use my insecurities to push the blame away from my dogshit personality.
I hate my mind, this personality, this person in me. I hate my anxiety, I'm a mess but my life is actually very good.
I think that makes it all worse, nothing is wrong with my life so why am I so suicidal? Why do I despise living so much?

They're all pointless questions since it won't matter when I'm dead. I'm scared of dying as nothing, no one will even know.

 

[ADBoy777]

sounds tough. Have similar issues and others can't seem to understand my feelings about my personality or self image.
Death is a gift for me I don't find it a scary thing.

Hope you find peace

 

[BARIZON]

Yep, usually I say things are temporary, but like me, you have a deep rooted low perception of yourself, which has had a huge negative impact iin your quality of life and overall happiness. I wish I could say that someday you appearence wouldnt bother you so much, but I speak on experience when I say that it is almost impossible getting rid of certain thought patterns you have held since you can remember. When I tried to get treatment I felt that I would have to become someone else to be happy, my traumas where so entrenched that they could be seen simply as a part of my personality.

I'm not a mental health professional though, so don't believe everything I say, maybe I am wrong, but that's how I feel. If you think you can get better with treatment and feel you can make progress, you should absolutely do it.

 

[Abyssal]

I am a hideous monster and the world is a better place without me. Being an ugly girl hurts because so many cruel people view my worth on how much they sexualize me and I'm an unfuckable freak. I don't just look unlovable, i actually upset those unfortunate enough to see me. What a horrible existence

 

[Superdeterminist]

Agree that being an ugly girl would be a cruel life. I think the same applies as a boy. Ugly or even just plain looking people are usually invisible to others. Their attention is not valued, I have seen it play out time and again. It's another massive inequality, like wealth inequality, that has profound effects on human life.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I consider myself to be ugly and while it does bother me a bit, at this point I don't care that much anymore. It's become something I just laugh at. There are times where it does still cause me distress but lately my feelings towards my hideous appearance hasn't been bothering me as much as it used to. Looking at my myself in the mirror used to be enough to make me want to cry, but now I just kind of laugh at it and move on with my life.

 

[newpath]

I am sorry to hear that. It must suck. As an ugly guy I understand you as my life is miserable too. Every single breath is a waste. Might be a little over the top pessimistic, but damn, you can't blame me. I will soon be free.

 

[splitsvillaseason15]

One of the cruelest punishments: being born an ugly girl.

Life is colourless when you're forced to be alone. I'm surrounded by people but I feel disconnected from my body, I'm watching myself from the distance. I've been so hurt by people that my perception of myself and living is shattered forever.

4 years of therapy and not a single change in my pessimistic outlook on life and my self image. I don't even know what I'm complaining about anymore it's all blurry. I fell inlove with a fallacy and it's been messing with my head.

My heart races when I picture my suicide I no longer feel excited more disappointment and void, like it won't fulfil anything. I keep begging for a change something to fix me but time keeps moving closer to my deadline, a lot can happen in a year.

I was originally going to vent about my appearance and blah blah but I'm fed up of lying to make myself feel better. I always blame my issues with people on the way I look but the fact is I'm not ugly, many people consider me pretty() but I use my insecurities to push the blame away from my dogshit personality.
I hate my mind, this personality, this person in me. I hate my anxiety, I'm a mess but my life is actually very good.
I think that makes it all worse, nothing is wrong with my life so why am I so suicidal? Why do I despise living so much?

They're all pointless questions since it won't matter when I'm dead. I'm scared of dying as nothing, no one will even know.

hey try plastic surgery

 

[SelfKill]

hey try plastic surgery

too expensive

 

[Lady Laudanum]

hey try plastic surgery

Plastic surgery can change your appearance but it won't do anything to fix the sense of worthlessness, low self esteem, body dysmorphia, etc.

 

[cujoh]

I very much relate to you op. i'm a detestable ugly sack of a bitch. i hardly resemble a female. i don't think i socially fit into the role of one either. after all, girls my age are meant to have received male attention at least once in their life but all I've ever received from moids is mockery for my appearance. i'm so horrendous looking that not even the lowest men could bring themselves to give me attention. i'm not really a female since i haven't gone to parties, or dressed in skimpy clothing, had a group of female friends, listened to the "song of the summer" while doing something fun. there's truly nothing great about my life. i'm starting to resent my female body, i'd be way better off born male as i'm such a waste of "girlhood". i should be out and using my social class as female to do something fun and cool but no. instead i just fucking rot. somebody else could have this body, somebody who deserves it or could put it to good use, dress it up, be pretty, shave it, dance in it. i'm just ruining it. i feel really guilty for being in my body to be honest.

plus i'm an autist who's gaining weight due to being a shutin neet for the last few months. family is forcing me into a compsci course in a few months because they know i'm into linux and stuff like that but it kinda makes me feel worse. i'm going to be surrounded by moids (and consequently mocked by them) and also i'm not doing a girly subject. i'm wasting my female form on compsci and that stupid shit when i could be doing something like beauty and hair. i don't think i care enough about myself to ask my parents for anything else to be honest. I'll just let things happen and die

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I think that I unfortunately have to agree with your title and your post overall. I'm an ugly guy but I personally think that ugly women must have it worse as I've seen so many people insinuate that all women, no matter whether they're ugly or not, can easily get into a relationship that they love simply because they're a girl. Obviously that isn't correct and all this sentiment does is invalidates ugly women even more. Whether we like to admit it or not, pretty privilege is real and being pretty will get one far in life compared to somebody who isn't pretty (of course this is assuming that everything else is the same such as neurotype and etc) and this applies to all genders.

Whilst I'm not an ugly girl, as I'm not even a girl to begin with, I can empathise with being born with the wrong set of cards and it can truly hurt a lot.

I hope that you find peace soon regardless of what you choose to do

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I was originally going to vent about my appearance and blah blah but I'm fed up of lying to make myself feel better. I always blame my issues with people on the way I look but the fact is I'm not ugly, many people consider me pretty() but I use my insecurities to push the blame away from my dogshit personality.
I hate my mind, this personality, this person in me. I hate my anxiety, I'm a mess but my life is actually very good.
I think that makes it all worse, nothing is wrong with my life so why am I so suicidal? Why do I despise living so much?

I relate to this the most. I've had people say they consider me attractive but then I look at myself and think: "huh?". Meanwhile when I accept that some people really do find me attractive, it just makes me feel gross that people think of me that way.

But it doesn't matter anyways because I'm ugly on the inside and people distance themselves once they actually get to know the kind of obnoxious person I am.

 

[Abyssal]

hey try plastic surgery

I am in the process of braces currently after years of bullying. Now that I no longer have buck teeth I was able to recognize my horrendous witch nose. I'd have to fix everything and at that point I'd end up in debt looking like a mountain lion.