It’s a horrible feeling knowing that suicide is my only option

[Ivan181]

there is absolutely no part of me that want to die. I want to live a normal life like everyone else. Unfortunately I have to kill myself I have no other choice in the matter I suffer horrible physical symptoms due to ligament damage in my cervical spine which creates structural issues with my vertebrae. It make me feel unbearable uncomfortable all the time to the point where it drives me insane. I can't take the way my body feels physically and I've tried every single treatment to heal the ligaments and nothing has helped the only way to fix this issue is to ctb. I will be either jumping off a 100ft parking garage or I will burn charcoal in my car. Regardless of how I die there is a 100% chance I will be dead in a week once I get an opportunity to go through with my plans. I'm 21 male and from the US, I don't suffer from any mental issues outside of depression. But my thinking is coherent. Suicide is something I've pondered for a while now and although it's not something I want to go through with I really don't have any other choice at this point and it makes me feel awful. One good thing about death is once I'm dead I wouldn't be able to feel upset anymore about my life being ruined.

 

[Forever Sleep]

This sounds horrendous. I'm so sorry. I hate physical pain. I truly don't think I could live with it either.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so dreadful and torturous, it's so cruel to me how there's all this terrible suffering in existing, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[mirage]

I am in a similar situation. I am 22 male from UK and will also commit suicide because of chronic health problems as I have no other choice. If you would like to speak more you can message me on here or my telegram is @helloitsme600

 

[death_bed221]

That is the worst part. I know deep down that if I made some different choices in my life I would now be happy and content. I really don't want to die but I have to. I Wish i could go back and change some things. My only cope is that there some parallel universe where the other me chose better and now he is enjoying life to the fullest with a smile. But i cant. Most people in my situation would off themself much before. I always had hope that things would get better. But things just got worse.

 

[howunfortunateforme]

That is the worst part. I know deep down that if I made some different choices in my life I would now be happy and content. I really don't want to die but I have to. I Wish i could go back and change some things. My only cope is that there some parallel universe where the other me chose better and now he is enjoying life to the fullest with a smile. But i cant. Most people in my situation would off themself much before. I always had hope that things would get better. But things just got worse.

I feel the same way. Had I made the choice to not take Psych meds I wouldn't be left with permanent physical disabilities tnat now will cost me my life my poor kids

 

[whysaz]

I get you. I used to want to die on top of being suicidal. No I don't really want to die anymore, but I know I can't bear it anymore, and that life will never be good to me in this situation. Because I can't do it.