CrazyDiamond04

CrazyDiamond04

Metal Fan- Wants to hang Under The Oak
May 8, 2023
474
There are some times where I feel like I'm living an actual nightmare and I hate it so much. In fact, I'd say it's even worse than a nightmare. Everything's going to shit and I just desperately want to wake from this eternal hell, but I know I can't because it's real. Sleep is the only true escape I have.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,011
There are some times where I feel like I'm living an actual nightmare and I hate it so much. In fact, I'd say it's even worse than a nightmare. Everything's going to shit and I just desperately want to wake from this eternal hell, but I know I can't because it's real. Sleep is the only true escape I have.
It literally is. Life is a living hell, it's honestly like a bad dream that's unfortunately not a dream. I like to think that hell doesn't exist, and that rather, life is it. Sleep is also my escape from life. I wish I could sleep forever and never wake up.
 
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CrazyDiamond04

CrazyDiamond04

Metal Fan- Wants to hang Under The Oak
May 8, 2023
474
I like to think that hell doesn't exist, and that rather life is it
I'm not a spiritual person but there are some points where I really question if we do perhaps live in some sort of designed hell. I don't really think we do but it sure feels like it sometimes.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,011
I'm not a spiritual person but there are some points where I really question if we do perhaps live in some sort of designed hell. I don't really think we do but it sure feels like it sometimes.
I honestly think that we're living in a simulation and playing a cruel game (called life). I think the game was designed to be as hellish as possible
 
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WAITING TO DIE

WAITING TO DIE

TORMENTED
Sep 30, 2023
1,539
I honestly think that we're living in a simulation and playing a cruel game (called life). I think the game was designed to be as hellish as possible
Have you read any books on Gnosticism ?
Gnosticism is basically the knowledge of knowing that this earthly realm was created by the demiurge. Evil beings called Archons feed off our suffering and keep us enslaved from knowing who, or what we really are. We were trapped into human flesh-prisons against our will, and all knowledge of our true self was erased in the process.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,011
Have you read any books on Gnosticism ?
Gnosticism is basically the knowledge of knowing that this earthly realm was created by the demiurge. Evil beings called Archons feed off our suffering and keep us enslaved from knowing who, or what we really are. We were trapped into human flesh-prisons against our will, and all knowledge of our true self was erased in the process.
I've heard about this theory, I've read about it online. I need to read books on it though. I heard that archons disguised as angels tricked you into reincarnating again with your life review to "fulfill a mission or something" and "because of your past life karma".

I honestly think that this world is a prison planet. What do you think our true self is or could be?
 
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Ligand

Member
Sep 14, 2023
65
There are some times where I feel like I'm living an actual nightmare and I hate it so much. In fact, I'd say it's even worse than a nightmare. Everything's going to shit and I just desperately want to wake from this eternal hell, but I know I can't because it's real. Sleep is the only true escape I have.
Waking nightmare is a good way to put it. I unfortunately have to take a medication that intensifies my dreams as a side effect, so almost every night I have dreams of the great life I used to have. I wake up every day to my shit life and start the cycle over again. It's hell.
 
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WAITING TO DIE

WAITING TO DIE

TORMENTED
Sep 30, 2023
1,539
I've heard about this theory, I've read about it online. I need to read books on it though. I heard that archons disguised as angels tricked you into reincarnating again with your life review to "fulfill a mission or something" and "because of your past life karma".

I honestly think that this world is a prison planet. What do you think our true self is or could be?
I used to think that we were some kind of spiritual energy, or pure conscious awareness.
I once became very involved in Buddhism and began a very intense practice of Anapanasati concentration meditation.
I eventually reached a point where I could enter very deep states of samadhi, and jhana, until you become completely and utterly unaware of your surroundings and your body's physical sensations.
Your 5 senses cease to function.
You are fully awake, yet the world around you ceases to exist.
Nothing exists except pure concentrated awareness.
Maybe the real self is just pure energy, pure conscious awareness.
But I often wonder if we are Nothing but a biochemical, electrical reaction.
Maybe what we term as consciousness is nothing more than physical reactions in the brain.
I honestly hope there is no such thing as a soul.
I simply want to cease existing in any way, shape or form because existence just makes no sense to me and I find it all so confusing and frightening.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,311
I certainly see sleeping as the best way to pass time as it's the closest thing to not existing but anyway I certainly do see this existence as being so hellish. I find it tragic how existence disturbed the peace of eternal nothingness, to me it's such a terrible curse having the ability to suffer endlessly in this unnecessary existence.
 
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ljknljnlkjn

Member
Oct 1, 2023
34
I relate to this way too much
 
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Ε. Η. R.

Ε. Η. R.

Experienced
Oct 5, 2023
266
There are some times where I feel like I'm living an actual nightmare and I hate it so much. In fact, I'd say it's even worse than a nightmare. Everything's going to shit and I just desperately want to wake from this eternal hell, but I know I can't because it's real. Sleep is the only true escape I have.
I know what you are talking about. I have ptsd and major depressive disorder (since summer-december 2018).
During several years, when I had nightmares, and also in the middle of the day, I sometimes fell into such a state that I repeated: this cannot be real; such hell could not really happen. But it happened, it was reality.
 
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