It is my time to go

[cronin1us]

I have been living with bipolar disorder sonce 2006. I am now 42 and I have watched my entire life and all of my relationships disontegrate.

The depressions are so bad that I can barely move.

 

[casandranova29]

What method are you trying?

 

[cronin1us]

I a
I am not sure. I swallowed a bunch of what were supposed tobe fentanyl strips a few months ago but I just threw up.

There is a river near me but only a 10 foot drop. I dont know if the currents would help me drown.

 

[iloverachel]

I am sorry you have suffered for so long my friend. 18 years of bipolar disorder sounds like hell. I hope you find the peace you need and are free of suffering my friend

Keep us updated

 

[cronin1us]

Thank you very much. At one point I was a promosing young investment banker. Now I have just survived 6 months of homelesness in New York. I got chased out of my own neighbourhood by mobs of people, was beaten in the streets, forcibly committed countless times before returning to a rural small town area in Ireland.

 

[lita-lassi]

i wouldnt do anything until youve thought long and hard on a specific favored method and done research to ensure you dont just hurt yourself horribly and possibly permanently due to poor planning. i can only imagine the pain youre in to get to this point; dont make it worse than it already is by causing more pain to yourself i hope you find peace in your decisions

 

[cronin1us]

Thanks. I wosh things were different. I uabe always been an optimist but at this stage after decades of agony I just cant take anymore. I hope I can find something soon

 

[Unknown21]

Have a peaceful journey, farewell.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

Would it be correct to assume that you've already tried all the options generally offered by mental health professionals? That at one time or another you were prescribed Klonopin, Risperdal, Lithobid, etc. etc.? That you've done both in-patient and out-patient, individual and group support therapies? If so, then you might very well be a good candidate at such places as Pegasos, Exit International, etc. Have you looked into any of those assisted dying organizations?

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered so much, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[rozeske]

Am so sorry you have been suffering so much. I hope you can find your peace soon. Careful with your choice of methods so they don't endup putting you in even more suffering.

 

[cronin1us]

Would it be correct to assume that you've already tried all the options generally offered by mental health professionals? That at one time or another you were prescribed Klonopin, Risperdal, Lithobid, etc. etc.? That you've done both in-patient and out-patient, individual and group support therapies? If so, then you might very well be a good candidate at such places as Pegasos, Exit International, etc. Have you looked into any of those assisted dying organizations?

I have had all those treatments. I dont know if I have the money for Pegasos but I might.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

I have had all those treatments. I dont know if I have the money for Pegasos but I might.

I'm no stranger to your situation. We've reached the end of the road, we feel so helpless, we can barely move due to depression, everything that needs doing is such a heavy lift, even just going through the morning routine. We don't even have the energy to kill ourselves though that may be the only option left for us.

To CTB, I ordered SN from DMC. That's the path of least resistance for me (though I still struggled to go through the process). It's supposed to arrive any day now. God, I hope it won't get held at customs.

Can't you order SN online?

 

[cronin1us]

I am going to jump in the river and hope the currents drag me under. I hope it us not too painful.

 

[Dliena]

If this is your end I hope it's eternally painfree peaceful and quick Farewells from anymore sufferings again.

 

[DarknessAndDespair]

I'm no stranger to your situation. We've reached the end of the road, we feel so helpless, we can barely move due to depression, everything that needs doing is such a heavy lift, even just going through the morning routine. We don't even have the energy to kill ourselves though that may be the only option left for us.

To CTB, I ordered SN from DMC. That's the path of least resistance for me (though I still struggled to go through the process). It's supposed to arrive any day now. God, I hope it won't get held at customs.

Can't you order SN online?

Where did you find SN? I am looking for someone but I still have to understand how works the cripto things

 

[cronin1us]

I didnt do it. Now Im lost

 

[melancholymallory03]

I have been living with bipolar disorder sonce 2006. I am now 42 and I have watched my entire life and all of my relationships disontegrate.

The depressions are so bad that I can barely move.

I hope you find the freedom you're looking for and the peace you deserve

I didnt do it. Now Im lost

Big mood. The choice is always yours remember that

Where did you find SN? I am looking for someone but I still have to understand how works the cripto things

I think there's a thread on how to source materials somewhere on here

 

[cronin1us]

I really dont know what to do. I am in so much financial difficulty. I think I am going to try and flee somewhere that I can jump off a building.

 

[livinginthedreams]

I hope that if you decide to go it will be painless and you will finally be free. I myself cant come to a definite answer. Dont wanna live but scared to die. I hope you'll be fine no matter if on this planet or somewhere else.

 

[cronin1us]

I hope that if you decide to go it will be painless and you will finally be free. I myself cant come to a definite answer. Dont wanna live but scared to die. I hope you'll be fine no matter if on this planet or somewhere else.

Thanks. I think jumping us the only thing that will work for me so I will have to leave the country.

 

[livinginthedreams]

Thanks. I think jumping us the only thing that will work for me so I will have to leave the country.

If Im allowed to ask where will you go? To which country? And do you think its going to be hard to jump? I mean ofcourse it is hard. Standing there, thinking. But does it scare you that you might stand there and your brain wont let you go? Sorry for the many questions, I try to figure out how to go myself atm..

 

[cronin1us]

If Im allowed to ask where will you go? To which country? And do you think its going to be hard to jump? I mean ofcourse it is hard. Standing there, thinking. But does it scare you that you might stand there and your brain wont let you go? Sorry for the many questions, I try to figure out how to go myself atm.

I wanted to go to NY but need my US passport to get in which I dont have. I am going to try and find somewhere in Europe I can do it. I really dont want to hurt anyone else when falling so I have to fund somewhere that works. My friend did it in NY in an apartment building with an internal courtyard.

 

[livinginthedreams]

I wanted to go to NY but need my US passport to get in which I dont have. I am going to try and find somewhere in Europe I can do it. I really dont want to hurt anyone else when falling so I have to fund somewhere that works. My friend did it in NY in an apartment building with an internal courtyard.

Im sorry to hear that, if you want to you can keep me up to date. I understand the worry about being found, the only thing that comes to my mind is an abandoned place. A house or apartment building with an internal courtyard sounds really refreshing. I also think i would be so happy to be able to ctb at home.

 

[IonicLemon69]

I'm so sorry to read about your financial & housing struggles. I hope whatever you choose to do you will find some peace on the way out. Thinking of you.

 

[AllMyDreams]

If you are dead set on doing this... have you considered just moving to the Netherlands or Belgium and applying for euthanasia? I imagine since you're an EU citizen the health insurance will cover a lot of that.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Im sorry life has been so tough on you, very undeserved ;( its awful homelessness in this society is still a thing. I wish you the best <3

 

[LunarLight]

If you are dead set on doing this... have you considered just moving to the Netherlands or Belgium and applying for euthanasia? I imagine since you're an EU citizen the health insurance will cover a lot of that.

They won't accept unless you're terminally ill and have less than six months left to live.

 

[AllMyDreams]

They won't accept unless you're terminally ill and have less than six months left to live.

I thought in those countries you could get euthanasia for mental illness if you lived there.

 

[livinginthedreams]

I thought in those countries you could get euthanasia for mental illness if you lived there.

for some definitely but they probably make extra assesments to figure out how deep that disorder affects you, but some countrys approve euthanasia for (for example) bpd since personality disorders wont fade or anything and are hard to live with