it feels unreal that im really going to kill myself

[zeek]

13 year old me would be dissapointed.
but i reallt dont want to do anything anymore, i dont want to pursue anything because i dont have anything to pursue.
it isnt worth chasing things i cant see. not worth living a life thatll never be fullfilling.
maybe not right now, but im sure ill ctb sometime in the near future, and most definitely by february.

 

[avaruus]

I can certainly relate to that feeling, "unreal"...
For me, everything feels like a dream now..
And weirdly enough, my super heavy social anxiety and this "unreal" feeling are combatting each other..
Now i'm just so dissociated, i feel like i could just go talk to anyone outside.. even tho my shyness and anxiety would never allow that...

Edit:
Sorry, i noticed that my thoughts didn't really directly relate to your thread anyways, didn't mean to hijack this thread :D
But i do wanna say, that i relate to you

 

[why am i alive?]

I relate so bad.
Everyday just Passes in one sec Nothings important and Nothing good happens its horrible..
I hope you find happyness in live or death

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from this existence, I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[zeek]

To me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from this existence, I wish you the best with your plans.

how is it youve stayed alive and on this forum for this long, i admire ur subsistience

 

[SovietSuicide]

My stomach drops when I know the moment is imminent.

I was about to be homeless once before and that's when I felt it. I managed to get a second wind and get out of the situation but yeah that's how it felt.

There's a big difference between fantasizing and thinking about it and then actually knowing it's gonna happen.

 

[FuneralCry]

how is it youve stayed alive and on this forum for this long, i admire ur subsistience

I don't think I understand this comment. The human body doesn't come with an off switch even though I really wish that it does, in my case all the suicide methods are either risky or inaccessible.