torturedmind
What the hell am I doing here?
- Nov 5, 2023
- 46
It feels like a blessing and a curse to have a family that loves and cares for me deeply. A blessing because I know how lucky I am to have parents who love me, a sibling who loves me, and cousins, aunts and uncles who all love me. A curse because I can not rationalize ctb when I have so many people who would be hurt if I chose to do so. I can not stand the thought of the pain ctb would cause my family. I don't have any close friends, but my family would be destroyed if I decided to ctb. I love my parents so much and worry about them getting sick and dying every single day. I love them so much and wish I could just get it together and make something of my life. I can't keep going on like this anymore but ctb doesn't feel like an option. It is so hard to be trapped in this existence when you just want it to end.
