TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
Does anyone else here feel they cant leave their home? For fear of been hurt and humiliated or too scared to go outside....any comments will help
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: lizinha, Xaphous, Quinlor and 4 others
Escaper Boy

Escaper Boy

累坏了...
Apr 11, 2019
245
While I didn't feel anything about (literally) leaving home aka "going outside" in general, I despise any kind of social gathering especially if it came from family member. I always try my best to avoid/minimize contact with any of them.

The reason, as you mentioned, is humiliation. They have no hesitation whatsoever to criticize/insult my unfortunate circumstances regardless of how I felt about that. Egotistical? You bet. Some human beings can be pretty heartless if they possess wealth and power.

I supposed if the table were flipped, I would behave in the same egotistical way I guess. Stomping on other people for their less fortunate circumstances.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mr. Hang Man, ron_g, vaulthunter and 2 others
Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
I've had on and off agoraphobia for most my life so I know what it's like. A lot of the time I have no real reason to go out anyway but it really messes with your mind being constantly indoors. I've had a lot of humiliation from strangers of all ages, probably just because my demeanor looks awkward because of the isolation and depression showing. I've had days where everyone is smiling at me acting nice with me too so it just leaves me confused since I done nothing different on those days. People can be ignorant assholes so I've got a bit better at putting up with it, just going out anyway alone as always and facing whatever I face.
 
  • Like
Reactions: vaulthunter and TheDevilsAngel
TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
Yes they dont understand.... I no i am somewhat 'safe' inside, them judgemental people family neighbors etc... I Feel im understandable person but u prob right if i had a great life i dont know how you would think....to them we just acting up and so on im told go out do this do that get a job but i cant i hate most people i want be around people like me but i cant find them and i havent looked too hard cause i don't go outside....in my ideal world they will find me, its sad i know
I've had on and off agoraphobia for most my life so I know what it's like. A lot of the time I have no real reason to go out anyway but it really messes with your mind being constantly indoors. I've had a lot of humiliation from strangers of all ages, probably just because my demeanor looks awkward because of the isolation and depression showing. I've had days where everyone is smiling at me acting nice with me too so it just leaves me confused since I done nothing different on those days. People can be ignorant assholes so I've got a bit better at putting up with it, just going out anyway alone as always and facing whatever I face.
You seem brave...i can relate one day it good the other the looks i try to hide my feelings and do it well from first glance you wud prob think she fine but if u look closely u can see maybe im wrong maybe i look fucked alone amd afraid and thats y people stare i duno wat up with them and how are they always so happy...i have a boyfriend and kids it makes it more hard sometimes i go out food shopping with him and i feel like everyone stares i can almost hear there thoughts
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Xaphous
A

Alan James

Arcanist
Apr 11, 2019
408
Does anyone else here feel they cant leave their home? For fear of been hurt and humiliated or too scared to go outside....any comments will help

I almost never leave home. Not going anywhere, i'am NEET. In 2018, I left the house 3 times a year. I have a very strong sociophobia. I just play video games for 13-15 hours a day, eat 1-2 times and sleep. It seems that I have a very strong dependence on video games and a computers, like on heavy drugs. I would never go out of home with pleasure all my life if it was possible. Loneliness gives me pleasure and I don't understand why someone suffers from it. But I have no money at all, I can't do anything and can't work anywhere. Sometimes I had to starve, I consider it as an option for CTB.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Xaphous and TheDevilsAngel
D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
876
Does anyone else here feel they cant leave their home? For fear of been hurt and humiliated or too scared to go outside....any comments will help

I felt like this before 5 years or so when i was 18, i was too broken. then something happened .. i graduated and dreamed of something. Things around me were really broken at that time and i started facing verbal, emotional abuse from people around me. people used to shout at me and what not. I have many dreams and hope on life at that time... i knew i would diet here itself if i stay that way. so i moved to another city. It was difficult, not a single person supported me initially.. yeah, it was tough.. but i get a smile on my face when i remember it.. coz i know i have tried.
 
S

spanishguy22

Enlightened
Apr 9, 2019
1,003
I almost never leave home. Not going anywhere, i'am NEET. In 2018, I left the house 3 times a year. I have a very strong sociophobia. I just play video games for 13-15 hours a day, eat 1-2 times and sleep. It seems that I have a very strong dependence on video games and a computers, like on heavy drugs. I would never go out of home with pleasure all my life if it was possible. Loneliness gives me pleasure and I don't understand why someone suffers from it. But I have no money at all, I can't do anything and can't work anywhere. Sometimes I had to starve, I consider it as an option for CTB.
i wish i enjoyed games enough to play 14 hours a day, cant even play 5 minutes so boring now... jealous... how old are you btw?
 
A

Alan James

Arcanist
Apr 11, 2019
408
how old are you btw?

30.

I can't enjoy video games or anything else, I don't feel anything but they act like a drugs, as antidepressants on me, they just help to distract. I don't play for fun and pleasure - they help not to fall into the trap of painful thoughts that I can not get rid of. As a child I didn't have a computer and I didn't take any medications either, and I felt as if burning from the inside, depression, anxiety and repeated thoughts tormented me continuously, I couldn't find a place for myself. I didn't know how to contact people, didn't understand how human relationships were arranged, didn't feel empathy, was untidy and in dirty clothes, it seems like I looked like an drug addict to other people. But I also could not die and felt trapped - I was broken, as if my personality had died, I understood that I needed to be distracted from reality and my thoughts and for that I began to use video games.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheDevilsAngel and spanishguy22
S

spanishguy22

Enlightened
Apr 9, 2019
1,003
30.

I can't enjoy video games or anything else, I don't feel anything but they act like a drugs, as antidepressants on me, they just help to distract. I don't play for fun and pleasure - they help not to fall into the trap of painful thoughts that I can not get rid of. As a child I didn't have a computer and I didn't take any medications either, and I felt as if burning from the inside, depression, anxiety and repeated thoughts tormented me continuously, I couldn't find a place for myself. I didn't know how to contact people, didn't understand how human relationships were arranged, didn't feel empathy, was untidy and in dirty clothes, it seems like I looked like an drug addict to other people. But I also could not die and felt trapped - I was broken, as if my personality had died, I understood that I needed to be distracted from reality and my thoughts and for that I began to use video games.

ah i get you man, sry. you got more willpower
 
  • Like
Reactions: Alan James and TheDevilsAngel
JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I'm isolated but I feel it's more by necessity than by choice. My experiences out in the world have shown me that there is no place for me among others. I isolate myself from others to spare myself the pain I have felt in the past. I have enough reasons to end my life without having to go out each day and experience the cruelty of human beings even more than I already have in my life thus far. For me, isolation is a coping mechanism and the only way I can make it through another day until I have a close to foolproof method that is well thought out instead of acting on impulse in the moment. Being around others didn't make me feel any less isolated anyways.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Xaphous
Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
I am very isolated too and the only person that made me feel willing to go outside to dinner, theater and etc. never wants to talk to me again... So I don't have any motives to continue living
 
  • Like
Reactions: lizinha
Mr. Hang Man

Mr. Hang Man

Just hanging around
Mar 11, 2019
69
While I didn't feel anything about (literally) leaving home aka "going outside" in general, I despise any kind of social gathering especially if it came from family member. I always try my best to avoid/minimize contact with any of them.

The reason, as you mentioned, is humiliation. They have no hesitation whatsoever to criticize/insult my unfortunate circumstances regardless of how I felt about that. Egotistical? You bet. Some human beings can be pretty heartless if they possess wealth and power.

I supposed if the table were flipped, I would behave in the same egotistical way I guess. Stomping on other people for their less fortunate circumstances.
This is the biggest fear of any social gathering, "hows your love life", "how are your grades?", "Are you still a horrendous failure as you were all your life or have you actually grown a spine?" They enjoy rubbing it in, even if I had the power/wealth I would never try and humiliate others less then me. But us humans are quite hypocritical sometimes so who knows?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Escaper Boy

Similar threads

weirdoldguy
Replies
9
Views
268
Suicide Discussion
Raven2
Raven2
futurebuscatcher
Replies
8
Views
334
Suicide Discussion
justpathetic
justpathetic
S
Replies
4
Views
220
Suicide Discussion
sanan23
S
Justnotme
Replies
5
Views
331
Suicide Discussion
swankysoup
swankysoup