nattys5thtoenail
goofball
- Oct 6, 2024
- 119
I've been telling myself to hold off CTB'ing until I achieve all my dreams first, but there are many days where I feel like it's a waste and I should just hurry up and get on with it because I don't think they'll ever happen.
my neurodivergence literally destroyed my ability to function like a normal human being and I doubt that I'm powerful enough to even go through with these crazy dreams I have, I just hate how fucking weak and impulsive I am and how almost every goal I set just never came into fruition. I'm so envious of neurotypicals who can do whatever their heart desires with ease but even opening my laptop to finish work for my classes requires significant mental power (it's paying off though because I have basically straight A's this semester which is a rarity, so that gives me small hope)
It's so hard for me to continue everyday, each month that passes the more depressed I become. I can't stop having flashbacks to traumatic events throughout my life and I just feel so angry to the point where I feel like crying and I want to forget about the painful memories so desperately. The only thing that brings me true relief is fantasizing about killing myself and just closing my eyes forever and never having any obligations. I did just have my period a few days ago so maybe my hormones are out of wack, I really want to die so bad my existence is painful and im hurting so fucking bad.
my neurodivergence literally destroyed my ability to function like a normal human being and I doubt that I'm powerful enough to even go through with these crazy dreams I have, I just hate how fucking weak and impulsive I am and how almost every goal I set just never came into fruition. I'm so envious of neurotypicals who can do whatever their heart desires with ease but even opening my laptop to finish work for my classes requires significant mental power (it's paying off though because I have basically straight A's this semester which is a rarity, so that gives me small hope)
It's so hard for me to continue everyday, each month that passes the more depressed I become. I can't stop having flashbacks to traumatic events throughout my life and I just feel so angry to the point where I feel like crying and I want to forget about the painful memories so desperately. The only thing that brings me true relief is fantasizing about killing myself and just closing my eyes forever and never having any obligations. I did just have my period a few days ago so maybe my hormones are out of wack, I really want to die so bad my existence is painful and im hurting so fucking bad.