Is there anything that makes you re-consider ctb?

[oxymoron]

Just a matter of time but the bus is defintely closer than before

What's your plan of action?

 

[PainfulGut]

I might get better. Maybe. My main struggle is a health condition that's crippled me, so I will try to find a way to manage that first.

But in a way, even if I did I think my end would be suicide anyways. I've always sort of felt like I wasn't supposed to exist, that there's something broken in me that makes existence so much harder than for regular people (I'm sure many here feel the same) but more than that I never felt like I was the protagonist of my story. I always felt I was the sad note in someone else's. So even if I live many more years, cbt will be my inevitable end - but is that really a bad thing? I'd rather go peacefully than violently in a hospital. A shame the people I care about don't see it the same way, I'd rather die beside them than in a hotel alone.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

My mom and my cat. They both saved me so many times, and I feel a little like shit just abandoning them.