Love is kind of one reason, because after one guy "left me" and blocked me everywhere for a completely unfair reason ... I realized that first of all I never want to fall in love again and I don't trust anyone and on the other hand, he was one of the reasons I wanted to stay for a while alive. And now when he is gone, I don't have any reasons left and it's hard to think that me being alive would be good thing for someone. I was bad wife and I'm bad choice for dating if someone is running away because he is scared that I fall in love with someone else so... xD and that guy was probably right, I could fall in love with that other guy if we meet someday but that isn't going to happen ever. Yeah love & me together are one huge reason why I want to ctb.